Cheater
by Giggle Angel
Summary: He's the mysterious stranger and Layla can't help but to have a bit of a thing for him. There's just one problem...the other five guys that she's 'dating'. And things get crazier when the love of her life comes back from college
1. 5 guys and a stranger

**Cheater  **

**Chapter 1 **

He had dyed black hair, snakebites, a few cuts on his wrist, was wearing all black, and obviously didn't want to be bothered; cliché right? Well, this was the new guy. He sat beside me, not daring to turn in my direction. Simple to say, he was right to do this. I'm not always the little angel that I let people see. Sure anyone can say that, but I'm willing to show you. Trust me; you'll see what I mean.

He opened a book, still ignoring my presence. I took out a piece of paper and scribbled on it in my best handwriting. I leaned back in my seat and slid the paper over to him. It was childish, I know, but I wanted to see how he would react. He looked at the paper and then at me. I flashed him my sexiest smile and batted my mascara-lined eyelashes at him but not in the 'oh I'm such a whore notice me' way. It was more of an 'I want to get to know you so don't ignore me' kinda eyelash bat. He opened the paper, read it, wrote on it, and then slid it back over to me. His name was Christian. I wrote on the paper again.

_So where are you from? _

He sent it back.

**Kentucky** **. **

_Meet anyone interesting yet?_

**I think I just did. Wuts ur name?**

_Layla_

I walked him to his next class. I took his hand and wrote my cell number on it.

"Text me sometime."

He really did have an amazing smile. I walked to my locker, already knowing who would be there. He was tall, light brown skin tone, baggy jeans, long t-shirt, and black braids. Can you guess his stereotype? If you guessed basketball player, then you are correct my friend. I smiled the same smile and said, "Hey babe."

He tried to kiss me, but I put two fingers on his lips.

"You know how I feel about P.D.A."

He smiled and then hugged me.

"I'm sorry. You coming to the game tonight?"

"You know I am. I gotta get to class though, so I'll see you there."

He gave me another hug before I walked to my next class. Let's see if you can guess this one. He had a very muscular build, contacts instead of glasses, loose blue jeans, a six-pack, amazing green eyes, and brown shaggy hair. Any guesses? And the answer is…..football player!!

sigh I was thankful that all of these different sports didn't really cross too badly, because these were only the first two stops on my list. There was also: the soccer player, captain of the swim team, and the very attractive band geek. It's only cheating if you get caught right?

No one knows about my many 'boyfriends' and I prefer that it stays that way. The less people know the less chance that this will all spread. Besides, guys do it all the time, why can't girls. Besides, I've never really been one to follow rules. And it's not like I'm using them or anything, I'm just having a good time just like they are. There isn't any real love in this, I don't think, but this is only high school, it's not like I'm looking for my soul mate. I didn't even mean to end up with this many. It started off with a simple relationship. Brian (the soccer player) was the first of this group. He was such a sweetie. I couldn't just let him go when Shawn (the football player) came along. What can I say; he was drop dead gorgeous and still is. Next was Andrew (the basketball player). He was different. He was the complete opposite of shy and wasn't afraid to say what he thought. Personally, I think confidence is one of the all-time sexiest things about a guy and he definitely has that. After him was Drey (Captain of the swim team).

He's the easiest to keep up with simply because he wasn't the relationship type. I never had to feel bad about 'cheating' on him because we weren't official. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they all had at least one other girl who they assumed I had no idea about, especially Jack (the band geek). He had two, both in band that I found out about two weeks after we supposedly started dating. I could've said something, but why spoil his fun. Besides, he only had two; I, on the other hand, have five, maybe even soon to be six. This of course brings us back to Christian. I liked him. We had talked the entire class period and I loved how original he was. He wasn't just some stereotypical jerk or even prone to the judgment that he received once he entered a room. I was looking forward to getting to know him better.

Oh, and I guess you're wondering how I kept this going. Well, these guys have no idea that the other exists. They all have different friends and their paths rarely cross. If anyone ever sees me with one of them, they just assume that I'm a very flirty person. It's really pretty interesting if you think about it. To these people, I practically wore a halo on my head, but what they didn't notice was that it was horns that held up that halo. I neither was, am, nor will I ever be an angel, but I know how to act like one when I want to. No one knows this, not my parents, my friends, just me. Sometimes I have to wonder if this side even really exists because I'm so good at hiding it. Maybe I'll change someday, but until then, I have a basketball game to get to.

I went to the gym as soon as school ended and Andrew was waiting for me by the locker rooms. I smiled at him and he kissed me once I got to him. That's one of the things about Andrew, he always loved to get me alone, but he respected my boundaries.

"You better go before your coach catches you with me," I whispered.

"He won't. He's talking to JV right now." He started kissing my neck. If I suddenly developed a hickey, that wouldn't be good for anyone.

"I'm serious, babe. I don't want you to get in trouble." – I smiled the smiled that he couldn't resist and kissed his cheek. –"I'll be watching. Good luck."

"I love how you look out for me. I'll see you after the game?"

"No, I have to leave right after."

This wasn't a lie. I had already told Drey that I would meet him at the movie theatre after I left the basketball game. The look of disappointment on his face almost hurt the little bit of heart that I had, so I gave him another kiss before leaving for the bleachers.

We lost, but Andrew did well. Twenty-seven points and that's all that I remembered. I parked my car in an open parking spot close to the entrance of the movie theatre and found Drey at the front door with our tickets. He put his arm over my shoulder and led me to the movie. We sat in the top row and saw the first half hour before Drey decided to start a make-out session. At the time, I didn't really care. We hadn't ordered popcorn or anything and it distracted me from the screaming and crashing coming from the movie. I don't really have much of a thing for horror movies.

Ugh, Saturdays are killer! Sometimes I honestly feel like a babysitter for these guys. At least the band guy… aw crap what was his name? Was it John? Maybe it was Josh. Okay, I know it started with a J. James, Jim…JACK! That's his name. Woo, that could've been bad. I usually don't get their names mixed up, but if I do, I just use nicknames.

By Monday, I was thankful to be back in my favorite class, in my favorite seat, beside the least needy person in my life right now. Christian smiled when he saw me. I flashed him 'the smile'.

"Miss me?"

"Actually, yeah I did."

"Do you want to do something later?"

Mondays were my only free days of the week. Having the time off was fun, but I was willing to give that up for a day.

"Did you have something in mind?"

"Does a movie sound good?"

"It sounds fine as long as you pick."

"Alright then, it's a date."

A few hours later, I was walking to the gym and into the workout room. The guys whistled as I walked in. Mr. Stanson, the head football coach stepped out to see what was going on, but once he realized that I was the reason for the sudden noise, he went back into his office. I was a regular there and he treated me like a daughter. I stopped at one of the larger guys.

"Hey, have you seen Shawn?"

He smiled at me a little nervously.

"He's at the squats."

I smiled.

"Thank you, baby."

The whistling grew louder and some guys started yelling. I strolled to the squat machines and stopped at the third one in front of Shawn. He smiled, but didn't stop his workout.

"Hey baby…you needed something?"

"No. I just had to let you know that I can't make it to dinner tonight. I have somewhere to go."

He had learned to not question me, but he did look disappointed.

"REJECTED!"

The football players were yelling again.

"That's fine. We'll just have to do it some other time."

"It's a date."

I stepped up to him and when he was standing up straight, I kissed him. I played with his hair a little bit and then let him go. I knew the weight was heavy, but I loved to make a scene, especially in front of the football players. On my way out, one of the guys grabbed my butt. I stopped automatically and turned around. The room was silent. I smiled and walked over to the guy who had done it. I bent down close to his face, put my hand in his hair and pulled his head back. He yelled in pain and shock. I kept my smile.

"If you ever touch me like that again, you won't have to worry about Shawn coming after you, because accidents do happen here and I'm sure that having all of those weights there on your neck wouldn't feel too good. Are we clear?"

I nodded his head for him and then let him go. A few of the guys started clapping as I walked to the door. Right before I was fully out the door, I heard one of the guys say, "Man, with a girl like that, I bet you're not her only one."

I was laughing. He had no idea. None of them did.

"You ready?"

Christian parked in a space near the entrance. We were seeing the same movie that I had 'watched' with Drey. I loved the way he gave me my space. We were friends and I was comfortable with him. He bought me a soda and we split the popcorn and candy. I followed him into the theatre. The previews were already rolling. We sat in the top row. Deja' vu. We watched the entire movie and by the time it was over, I had an insane sugar rush from the chocolate Goobers that he had bought. I was laughing like a maniac by the time we were out the door. He was watching me, amused.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I'm fine. I just can't believe that movie. It was so dumb!"

"Maybe I should take you home."

"No. You know what would be fun?"

"What?"

"Let's get drunk. I know a great store. They don't check I.D's."

"I think the chocolate was enough for you tonight. Besides, won't your parents care?"

I leaned against his car.

"No. My mom is too busy with her ass of a husband. I could be gone for a month and she wouldn't notice. What about you?"

"My parents are both dead. I technically live with my sister and she's in college."

This sobered me up a little bit.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm fine. It happened years ago. So…are you serious about this?"

"Yep, and I'm going whether you drive me there or not. What, are you scared?"

Sugar is my alcohol, but the night was young and I wasn't ready to go 'home'. I really wasn't much of a drinker, but I had my moments. He smiled.

"Fine, I'll take you. But I'm not going in."

"That's fine."

I was halfway through my first bottle of Vodka nearly ten minutes after we left the store and I was a very happy little girl. I had absolutely no idea of where I was, but I didn't care.

"This was a bad idea."

Christian was looking at me concerned and really blurry. I blinked.

"Wimp."

I drank more of the Vodka. That was all that I remember before I woke up on a couch that wasn't mine. There was a quilt blanket on me as everything started to come into focus. I tried to sit up, but the sharp pain in my forehead forced me back down. I looked around slowly. Christian was sitting in a recliner a few feet away. I tried to sit up again and I guess I was louder than I had noticed because he woke up.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Terrible. What time is it?"

He looked at his phone.

"It's almost eight."

"Do you honestly want to go to school?"

"No, not really. You had a pretty rough night. You want some water or coffee?"

"Water's fine. I hate coffee. How bad was I?"

He stood up and walked to what I guess was the kitchen. My vision was still a little blurry.

"You were pretty good until you got to the second bottle. That's when the stripping started."

"Are you serious?"

O MY GOSH! He laughed.

"Don't worry; you passed out once you started unbuttoning your pants."

I looked down. How was it possible that I hadn't noticed that I wasn't wearing a shirt? How drunk was I, jeez. I looked around the floor. It was completely spotless. I checked the couch. My shirt was nowhere to be found. I sat up and looked over the top of the couch.

"By any chance, would you happen to know where I left it?"

He smiled and raised his eyebrow.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

I laughed.

"Stop playing you perv."

He laughed with me.

"It's in my room, last door on the right."

I stood up and he whistled. I wasn't ashamed to walk around his house like this, besides, I was still wearing my bra and it's not like he hadn't already seen me. Plus, I was wearing my favorite bra, I know it sounds a little…not appropriate, but it was black and lacy and really comfortable.

I really don't know what it was about him, but I was actually comfortable walking around his house in my bra, jeans, and heels. I didn't even do that at my own house. If my dad were still alive, he would be dying of a heart attack right now. It was really pretty funny. None of my 'boyfriends' had ever seen me without a shirt ever, but I had only known this guy for a few days and I had just woken up in his house with a hangover.

Instead of walking to his room, I went into the kitchen and sat on the counter in front of him. He handed me a bottle of water.

"You know, you told me a really interesting story last night."

I was a little nervous, but curious.

"And what was this story about?"

"Five guys."

My heart stopped along with my breathing. I was speechless. He kept going.

"So you're dating five guys right now?"

It took me a while to find my voice, but he waited patiently.

"I don't think you can really call it dating."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm not sure, but it's not dating."

"So were you hoping to make me your sixth?"

He leaned against the opposite counter and smiled at me devilishly.

"You wouldn't be my sixth if I'm not dating them."

"Well the way you described it last night, it really sounds like you're dating them."

"I was drunk!"

I was getting just a teeny bit irritated.

"Drunk people are the most honest people there are. You also said that you think my snakebites are sexy."

"Well, that is true."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"So you're really using all of these guys?"

"I'm not USING anyone."

"Well if you are, then I have to say, that's pretty bold."

WHAT? ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?!

"WHAT?"

"I'm just saying you've been doing this for two years now, right?"

"Maybe."

"How have you kept this going for so long without them finding out?"

I sighed. What was the point in lying now? I had already told him enough.

"I didn't tell you last night?"

"No you didn't."

"They don't know each other. It wasn't very hard to do."

"So, I've never heard of any of these guys. Were you seriously thinking of making me your sixth? I'm sure that would have to be some kind of record."

"Why do you have to assume that that was what I was trying to do? What's wrong with just being friends?"

"Nothing's wrong with that, but maybe I'm interested."

I tilted my head and started swinging my feet. Was this guy serious?

"I'm 'dating' five guys and you want to date me? You're kidding."

"Well, I want to get to know you first, but you seem like a pretty interesting person, very different."

He walked over to me, stopped my feet, and put his arms on both sides of my legs. He was seriously invading my bubble, but I still love his eyes, so I didn't really care. I leaned back on my hands.

"You're completely insane, you know that?"

"Well, this isn't the first time I've heard that."

I jumped and almost kicked him in the stomach as my phone started to vibrate. I took it out and he watched me curiously. Drey was calling me. Christian raised his eyebrows at the expression that I was making. I answered the phone and tried to sound as sick as possible.

"Hey."

"You sound terrible. Are you okay?"

This was the only reason why I kept Drey. He wasn't sweet all the time, but he was when I wanted him to be.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to rest a little bit. I should be back by tomorrow."

"Well, I'll let you sleep. I love you."

You know, a good friend of mine once told me a rather interesting quote: "I love you is eighteen letters long, well so is bullshit." And for those of you who don't swear, bullcrap works too.

"Okay."

I hung up the phone before he could say anything else. Christian was laughing his head off.

"He told you he loved you? Are you serious?"

"You could hear that?"

"I have pretty good hearing thank you. You don't love him?"

"There's no love in any of these relationships if you can even call them that. I've never told any of them that I love them and I don't plan on it. If they ever say that they love me, it's because they're worried about losing me…except for maybe Brian. He might actually mean it."

"So there is one?"

"One what?"

"You might actually have feelings for one of them."

"I have feelings for all of them, but I've been with Brian for the longest. Plus he's not full of it like the others usually are. It wouldn't really bother me if the others found out, but I would really hate to hurt him. I can't have that pressure on me. Maybe I should just end it with him now."

I was talking to myself more than to him at this point and my head was starting to hurt again. I put my head between my legs for a second and then jumped up nearly knocking Christian over. I ran to the bathroom and shut the door.

A few minutes later, Christian knocked on the door.

"Do you want me to get you something?"

"Some ginger…ale, and ….a toothbrush please."

"Alright, I'll be back in a minute."

I stood up slowly, holding onto the sink and looked at my self in the mirror. Ewww, I was a mess. Thank goodness I hadn't worn eyeliner or makeup the day before, because if I had, it would be running right about now. I rinsed my face and mouth and went into Christian's room to get my shirt. His room was actually pretty plain and organized. I wasn't completely sure of what I had expected, but it wasn't this. He had a plain queen size bed in the corner that was made up, a regular sized TV, a stereo with a pile of CD's on it, and a desk that had a few papers and a laptop on it. My shirt was on his bed. I put it on and heard the front door open. When I walked back into the living room, it wasn't Christian who was standing in front of the door.


	2. Long Night

Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Do I know you?"

I was speechless. The person was a girl and she didn't exactly look happy to see me. She was a tall brunette holding a purse on her shoulder and a pair of keys in her hands. She was wearing dark blue jeans and a big frilly coat. I finally found my voice.

"I'm a friend of Christian's."

Oh my gosh! Who is this girl?

"You're a friend of his? Well, I'm his girlfriend, so would you mind telling me what you're really doing here?"

"I believe that's between me and Christian," I shot back, crossing my arms.

And speak of the devil, there he was. Christian walked in and froze. I tilted my head and looked at him.

"Can you take me home please?"

He looked back and forth between me and the girl and then he started laughing.

"Do you have to do this every time," he asked the girl who was still standing near the door.

"I only do it because I love you."

I just stood there watching them. What the freaking heck?!

"Layla, this is Trish, my sister."

Wow. They looked almost nothing alike. She took off her coat and sat down on the couch. She looked back at me, obviously entertained.

"Should I be concerned about this?"

She had turned her attention back to Christian, but I was the one who answered.

"Relax. I'm not sleeping with him. I just spent the night because I was too drunk to go home."

I had to smile. My explanation sounded a lot worse than it actually was. Well, I guess if you think about it, it really was as bad as it sounded. She raised her eyebrow and then looked over at Christian who was laughing right along with me.

"It's true," he finally managed to say. She looked back at me.

"You drink?"

"Not often."

"So nothing happened last night?"

"Don't ask me. I don't even remember when I got here."

Her eyes got wide and she glared at Christian, who was laughing even harder now.

"Nothing happened. She passed out not too long after we got here. Why aren't you at school?"

"Why aren't you?"

"Good point."

By this point, I was tired of standing. I walked into the living room and sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Trish. I leaned my head on my arm and watched them talk. UGH! They were boring me and I was still a little hung-over. Before I knew it, I was asleep and waking up to the sound of Christian calling me. I looked around, blinking everything into focus.

"Do you still want me to take you home?"

I yawned.

"Only if you want to take me home."

"Well, you're free to stay here."

"Thanks."

"If you want to change, I have a t-shirt and an old pair of jeans. They're a bit big though."

"That's fine. Thanks again."

I hugged him, not wanting to get too close. I still had that vomit and alcohol taste in my mouth. I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. By the time I got out, I could hear him moving around in the kitchen and could smell something cooking. I didn't want to bother him, so I went into his room and found the clothes that he had left me. I was surprised. He owned clothes from American Eagle. It was a plain blue shirt with a little eagle in the corner, and a pair of light blue, ripped jeans. It really wasn't my style, but it was comfortable and clean. With the way that the shirt fit me, it was obvious that he couldn't have worn this recently. The shirt fit to me almost perfectly and I'm much smaller than him. He was almost a foot taller than me and he had a slightly muscular build. The jeans fit the same way. They went a little bit past my feet, but I liked them that way.

My hair was still a little bit damp by the time I went into the kitchen and he smiled when he saw me.

"Hey. Are you feeling better?"

"Actually, yeah I am. How long was I asleep?"

"A few hours. You hungry?"

I really hadn't noticed with everything going on, but I was starving.

"You cook?"

"Are you surprised?"

I walked further into the kitchen and sat on the counter again.

"I'm very surprised."

"Well, my mom taught me a few things."

He made chicken fajitas. We set up our plates, fixed some juice, and sat in the living room in front of the TV. We watched a movie that we had never heard of and just talked for a while. The fajitas were amazing! Okay, this guy was a complete sweetheart, he could cook, and he didn't drink. What's wrong with this picture?

He sat at the end of the couch. I didn't mind being close to him by this point, so I sat beside him and leaned on his chest. He was surprised, but it didn't bother him. He put his arm over my shoulder and I put my head under his chin.

"So, seriously, American Eagle?"

I was still shocked that he had the outfit. He laughed.

"They were a Christmas present from my sister. She bought me tons of different ones. I've never worn them and she still hates me for that. But it's not like I ever asked for them."

I smiled and we both laughed.

"So you have a closet full of these?"

"Pretty much."

"Wow."

The movie was still playing and it was starting to get dark. I was way too comfortable with him and we were both almost asleep when my phone started vibrating, scaring us both. I couldn't see well enough to read the screen, so I just answered it.

"Hello?"

I sounded just as tired as I was.

"Layla. Where are you? I called your house and no one answered."

I was the only one who answered the phone at my house, and I had given them all my home number, but I never showed any of them where I lived. It was too risky.

"Who is this?"

"It's Jack. You don't recognize my voice?"

He was playing, but there was a little bit of nervousness in his voice.

"I do, I'm just tired."

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner?"

This was when Christian took the phone and the fun started.

"She's busy tonight. You're gonna have to reschedule."

He hung up my phone and I was laughing hysterically. Sure, I was going to hear about this tomorrow, but it just surprised me.

"You're an idiot."

"Yea, well he should trust you more."

I thought about this for a second.

"No he shouldn't!"

He thought about it too and then he started laughing. My phone started vibrating again. I think we all know who it was. He called me another three times before sending me a text message.

WHO THE HELL WAS THAT??

WHERE ARE YOU?!

I didn't reply to the messages. He could text me all he wanted; I have unlimited text, so ha. Finally, I turned my phone off and put it in my pocket.

"So I'm guessing we're going to school tomorrow," I asked.

"Do you want to go?"

"Are you kidding, I wouldn't miss this for anything."

That night, we slept on the couch, we hadn't moved. We woke up to get ready. I took my shower first and he gave me another one of his American Eagle outfits. This one was a plain red shirt and the jeans were a little bit darker than the first pair. He even let me borrow a pair of his boxers that he had just bought and I snuck into his sister's room and stole a bra. It was a little bit small on me, but I made it work. It actually added a little bit of cleavage. I sat in the living room while Christian took his shower. I turned on my phone for the first time since the night before. Ha, I had ten text messages from Jack, five from Shawn, six from Drey, and one from Brian. I didn't bother to read the other ones, but Brian's caught my attention.

Hey Beautiful.

sigh He was such a sweetie, but he was completely clueless. He really deserved better. I need to end this. I texted him back.

_We need 2 talk. Meet me my locker aftr school?_

I closed my phone and heard Christian step out of the bathroom. I turned around and looked down the hall. He was still in his towel and he walked to his room. What was so different about this guy? I think I actually cared about him, and that's saying a lot. I held onto this thought as I forged a note explaining my absence the day before. I had perfected both my mom and dad's signatures and I could do almost any other signature with a bit of practice. It was a talent of mine.

Almost an hour later, he parked in my usual parking space near the front door of the school. I took a deep breath and we walked through the crowded the hallways. Christian slipped his arm over my shoulders and there was Jack standing at my locker. He glared at both of us and his teeth were grinding in his mouth.

"Is this him?"

I ignored his question, crossed my arms, and raised my eyebrow.

"How are Shay and Rochelle?"

His face grew scarily red. If you haven't guessed, Shay and Rochelle are the two girls that he thought that I didn't know about. Within seconds, he grabbed Christian by the front of his shirt and swung him against the lockers. The sound from the lockers caught everyone's attention. Before Jack had the chance to hit him, I rammed him with my side. He stumbled back a few feet and I stepped in front of him.

"Whore," he spat at me.

I was sincerely shocked, but not as shocked as I was by what happened next. He took a step, filling the majority of space between us, and slapped me. I went to the side, but caught my balance on the lockers. Oh no, this son of a nutcracker did not just hit me! This was all that I was thinking, but he was just lucky that Christian got to him before I did. The second after Jack's hand went across my face, Christian had lost it. This time, it was Jack who was slammed against the lockers, and the sound was explosive. I winced at how hard he punched him. Jack was dazed for a second, but he hit Christian in the stomach before he got his second punch in.

He pushed Christian off while he was still out of breath and tackled him to the floor. He started kicking him in the stomach until Christian caught his foot. I couldn't take it anymore. I took a deep breath and charged him full force. He hit the ground hard and I held him down.

After dating Shawn for nearly two years, I had picked up a few things and defense was one of them. Also, as you may remember, I mentioned earlier that the head football coach treated me like a daughter. Well, I didn't get my small, yet slightly muscular figure from just sitting around. Jack didn't know this, and he was just as shocked as all of the people watching. I was surprised to feel someone pulling me off of him. I was on my feet in seconds and I was turned around to se that there was a teacher holding Christian back by his arms. I looked up. I didn't recognize the teacher, but Christian and I were both taken to the principle's office. Aw, crap! He got blood on Christian's shirt. That stain is never going to come out. Maybe it'll blend in.


	3. Bruises, Brownies, and Basketball

**Chapter 3 **

"Layla, what has gotten into you? You've never fought in school before. And what's this with you and this guy? Where were you last night?"

I sat on the couch in my living room while my mom lectured me. Unfortunately, a forged note couldn't get me out of suspension; and the thing about me fighting wasn't true. I had fought in school before. I had just never been caught before. I crossed my arms impatiently. The sound of keys jingling rang in my ears and I stiffened.

The fun was about to start and we both new it. The man that I refuse to call my step dad was coming in. I sat back in the couch and got ready for it. The loud thuds of his feet hitting the ground were a clear sign that he knew about what had happened. The door slammed loudly behind him, rattling the glass door.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"

I said nothing.

"You had us scared to death." – Ha, the thought of him actually caring made me laugh. – "We trust you enough to not ask you about every move that you make and you go off all night and don't even call? And then you fight a guy at school? What makes you think that you being as small as you are could take a guy?"

This caught my attention and severely pissed me off. I tilted my head to the side and fully looked at him for the first time.

"Don't underestimate me." I whispered.

He laughed.

"And what if I do? Are you gonna fight me too?"

I raised my eyebrows. This made him mad. He was easily over six feet tall, over three hundred pounds and somewhat muscular for his age, but every guy has their weak spot and every girl knows where that spot is. He surprised me by leaning forward and grabbing me by my neck. He lifted me off of the couch and I couldn't breath. I was gasping and kicking my feet. My mother finally stepped in and rammed him the same way I had rammed Jack, only he didn't fall. He merely dropped me back on the couch and I was furious.

I ran to my room and came back with my dad's bat. It was nearly half my height, wooden and could leave some mean splinters in a person's face. He was walking towards my mom and I stood between them, clocking him hard in the face. He fell to the ground hard. I tightened my grip on the bat as he cringed after touching the side of his face that I had hit him on. It was a deep red even with his tanned skin. He stood back up slowly, and glared at me.

"COME ON," I yelled at him, ignoring my mom's scream. "Get up! Try it! I want to see you do it!"

He started to walk toward me, balling his hands into fists. I got ready.

"You ungrateful little- UH!"

I hit him again. This time in his stomach and then in his back. He fell again. I waited for him to get up. He stood up again and started moving towards my mom. I jumped between them again.

"Get out," I growled. He raised his hand again and I hit him again in the stomach. He took a few deep breaths and then finally walked out. Both me and my mom collapsed on the floor. If he came back, we would be ready.

It was the first day of my three-day suspension and I was serving my time in my room. But on the positive, since my 'step dad' had caused such a scene, my mom was too distracted to punish me for fighting or going missing, which in my opinion, if it weren't for the school calling, she never would've noticed. I was lying on my bed, listening to my I-pod when my phone started to light up. I forgot that I had put it on silent. I had a text message from Andrew.

_**Hey beautiful, what was the fight about; and where have you been? I haven't heard from you since the game?** _

I rolled my eyes and closed my phone. Maybe I would reply to the message later. It really wasn't at the top of my priority list. In fact, none of my guys really were. They were really starting to get amazingly clingy, and I had never gotten the chance to talk to Brian all 'cause of stupid Jack. I could always do it in a text or over the phone, sure, but this was something that I really wanted to do in person. Brian was the perfect boyfriend. He gave me my space when I needed it; he never even thought about cheating on me; he never pushed my boundaries; and he truly respected me even though I didn't deserve.

I think I was actually starting to feel a tear form. I had to let him go. Perfection is not what I need right now. I need room for errors, but not huge ones. I need a guy that truly sees how bad of a person I really am. I need him to understand what I'm really capable of. I think… I need Christian. He was the only one who knew about my little secret and he had stuck up for me anyway. He knows what I am capable of, and he's okay with it. UGH! It's not supposed to be this hard! I looked on the floor at the two outfits that I had borrowed from him. I could at least wash them before I gave them back.

I stood up and took them to the laundry room. I might as well wash the rest of my clothes. Why not my mom's too; she wouldn't have time to do them herself. Oh gosh, this was a bad sign. Apparently, I was more upset than I was letting myself realize. I was feeling the need to clean. This only happened when I was upset, or on Sundays, occasionally both. It started with washing clothes, and then dusting, a little bit of sweeping, a lot of vacuuming, and finally came the rearranging. By the time I was done, the house was spotless and I was exhausted. I went back to my room and opened my phone. I didn't pay attention to any of the text messages except for the one that I had from Brian and the one that I had from Christian. I read Brian's first.

_**R U OK? I'm gonna kill Jack when he gets back. Wut happened?** _

I took a deep breath and opened Christian's.

_**Hey partner in crime. How r u holdin up?** _

I texted Christian back, still not completely sure about what I was going to say to Brian.

_**Hey. I'm fine. Thx. How's your face?** _

I went back to Brian's message. I knew what I had to do.

_**I'm fine. Meet me the tree, ok?** _

This physically hurt me. I had an intense pain in my chest, but it was for his own good. He's an amazing guy, don't get me wrong. But he's not afraid to show anything that he's feeling and that can be really hard to deal with sometimes. I left, my mom was probably asleep anyway and she had had a bad enough time. I took slow, deep breaths as I went to our tree. What's so special about this particular tree, you may ask. Well this tree was where we spent our nights from time to time. Sounds pretty cliché, right? It was his idea, not mine, but I didn't exactly mind it.

While I drove, I got another text from Christian.

_**Perfect, thank u very much. My sis found out about the fight though, so she has me on house arrest. ** _

I closed my phone. I was one of those people who only used her phone while driving if it was an emergency. I was at the tree sooner than I would have liked and he was already there waiting for me, just like I knew he would be. I got out of my car and the look of shock that he had on his face confused me. Did he already know?

"What happened to your neck," he asked once I was sitting in front of him. I touched my neck with the tips of my fingers. I knew instantly what he had seen: the hand print of a very large man.

"It's nothing," I whispered.

"That's not nothing."

CRAP! Why did he have to care? I wanted to throw him down a flight of stairs for caring so much.

"I just got into an argument with my step dad. It wasn't anything serious. That's not what I came here to talk to you about."

He looked at me curiously. This was the look that had made me interested in the first place. His eyes changed shades from time to time, but for right now they were blue, and they were killing me. He leaned against the tree patiently and I hugged my knees to my chest.

"I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Us. I think we need to end it."

He sat up. It was coming.

"What? Why?"

"You need somebody better and you don't realize it. I'm not the person that you think that I am, and I don't want you to see that person."

"I know perfectly well, and there's no one better."

I hated him. The tears that had been building up were started to flow slowly and one by one.

"Don't do this. We're done. Don't make this harder than it has to be"

"What are you talking about?"

I lost it. I put my hands in my hair.

"I CHEATED ON YOU! I cheated on you repeatedly and I still am! You don't need that!"

He was staring directly at me, but he was calm, too calm.

"You think I didn't know that?"

"What?"

I was wiping at my cheeks.

"Of course I knew. I'm not an idiot. I just didn't care. I knew you would tell me, so I waited. When I told you I loved you I meant it, and even if it bothers me that you have other guys, I can't change that."

I stared at him. Are you freaking kidding me? He knew this entire time!

"You knew this entire time and you didn't say anything?"

"No, I didn't."

"Why would you just let me go on with these guys?"

"I knew that you weren't sleeping with them, and this is just high school. You were having your fun and I was having mine too."

I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Really now?"

"Yep, I had a few, but they were just flings.

"You're insane."

"I thought you knew that before we started dating."

He smiled at me. There was no way that this could really be happening. He was supposed to be irreversibly pissed at me, not happy. Where did this Brian come from? Wait, he cheated on me? When did this happen? UGH! My head was starting to spin. I needed to get away from him. I stood up slowly, trying to hide the shakiness in my knees. I started walking down the hill, but he caught up and stepped in front of me.

"Where are you going?"

I tried to walk around him, but he cut me off and I was too dizzy to dodge him.

"I don't know."

"Are we still breaking up?"

"I…I don't know."

"Fair enough."

He kissed me and completely took my breath away. This was another one of my favorite things about Brian: he was the best kisser out of the entire group. And I really think that it was because he wasn't just looking for a place to put his tongue, but rather that there was actual love in his kisses. I may not love him back, but I would always love his kisses. Not to sound sick or that I completely want you to know our business, but HOLY FREAKING CRAP! This guy was amazing! He was a teaser. He always loved to start of with quick, little kisses before really getting to the point.

If he ever took advantage of me during our long two years, this was how. He made it his own personal goal to make me make a sound every time and he always succeeded. He played with my hair and pulled away from me. My eyes were still closed. He moved on to my neck and considering the humongo bruise on it from my 'step dad's' hand, I didn't feel any pain. I hate his guts.

Nearly half an hour later, I was back in my car and I picked up my phone. I replied to Christian's text message.

_Ha, sucks 4 u. I'm free to come and go as I pleez._

These two guys were seriously going to kill me some day. They've probably already cut twenty years off of my life from all of the stress. Right now, it's just my goal to make it to thirty. I think that's possible, don't you? Sure, I was being sarcastic, but the truth was that some day, I would have to make a decision. One of them, if not both, would have to go; and what about the others? Was there really any point to keeping them around anymore? They really served no purpose and they were starting to bore me. Who should I get rid of first? Hmm.

I didn't really want to go back home, but I needed to check on my mom. I went back and as expected, she was doing terrible. She never would've expected that the current 'love of her life' would ever hurt us like that. Bull freaking CRAP! I knew the very second that he walked through our front door that he was a woman beater. He had never put his hands on my mom, but it was obvious that he would punch a kitten in the face if it looked at him the wrong way. He would have to come back some time though. His stuff was still here, but when he does, he had better pray that the house is empty. Because if I'm there, my dad's bat is going to be waiting for him, and that won't be good for anyone except for maybe my stress level.

Ooh, text message. Aw, darn, it's from Drey. Did he honestly not have a life outside of me and football? Oh wait, he swims, my bad. Well, he seriously needs one, because unfortunately for him, I have one, and it's spiraling out of control. I was still a little bit light-headed from the shock of the conversation with Brian and even more from what happened when we were done 'talking', but I could still read and I was okay to drive.

_Hey babe. R U ok? I heard about the fight. What was that about? I think I'm rubbin off on u, _ _ur_ goin around fightin guys now. Giv me a call, I miss u.

As you probably already guessed, I wasn't planning on calling him back. I didn't care. I would be back in school soon, but until then, I was planning on enjoying my little vacation. I started my car and my phone lit up. It was another message from Christian.

_Ha, I'm hurt. U didn't have to rub it in._

I smiled and replied to his message.

_Well if it really hurt _ _ur_ feelings that bad, then mayb I could make it up 2 u. Would it b ok w/ ur sis if I came ovr?

I sat my phone next to me on my bed and waited for him to reply. How was it possible that I was here? I still had Brian, but it was like he was a completely different person. And then, of course, there's Christian. I can't just let him go, now can I? But on the other hand, would it really be so horrible to be just friends? It's been a while since I've had one of those, but maybe I could do it. I guess it's really up to him. Of course, there's always the option of being friends with benefits, ha. He was just so cute and so different. Besides, he knew my story and he was cool with it, which apparently, Brian did too. Maybe this thing between me and Brian could work out after all. And Christian didn't know about all that Brian knew, but he knew of him and that was enough for me. Now I wouldn't have to be so vague with my details of my whereabouts.

And speak of the devil; I had a text message from him. Christian's name flashed across the screen.

_Well, she's not home and I don't think she'll be back til tomorrow at the earliest. _

I smiled. I could practically see his expression while he waited for me to reply.

_Give me about 10 mins._

I wasn't done with his clothes, so I guess I would just have to make another trip later. I checked on my mom one last time before leaving. She was still asleep. I grabbed my keys and slipped out of the house quietly. There wasn't much traffic and I was there earlier than I thought that I would. He opened the door for me and for the first time, I was completely aware of just how much he had done for me. He had a few scars on his face. The damage on him couldn't possibly be anywhere near as bad as it was on Jack. I felt terrible. He wasn't even a part of this. It was me who was supposed to have those scars instead of this small, greenish bruise under my eye.

I gave him a hug and he pulled me inside. He tried to hide it, but I saw the quick expression of pain. I frowned and let go of him. I closed the door behind me and sat down with him on the couch.

"How bad is it?"

I hadn't realized that I was whispering. He leaned his head against the back of the couch, looking at me.

"It's nothing serious. I'm fine."

I didn't believe him. I moved closer. He watched me curiously. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. We both winced. He did it because of the pain from how quickly I did it, and I did it from the look of his chest and stomach. His entire torso had one huge bruise, surrounded by a few small ones on his sides. He looked terrible and he didn't dare to look me in the eye. This couldn't be happening. I hadn't even known him for that long and he was already falling apart because of me.

I know this is slightly off topic, but I know a lot of y'all are thinking it. Yes, he did have an amazing six-pack, but sadly, it was not very appreciated or noticed at the moment. I held onto his shirt tighter than I was aware of. I couldn't believe it. I leaned back against the arm of the chair.

"I can't believe this."

He finally looked at me.

"I told you it was nothing."

He reached for his shirt, but I stood up. I walked around behind the couch. I touched the tip of my fingernail to the bruise on his chest and he cringed again.

"That's not nothing."

I leaned my head on my arms. UGH! I still love his eyes and they were looking at me as if he was the one who wanted to apologize. He smiled at me, but it was still just as obvious that he was in pain.

"Now why is it that whenever you're here, one of us ends up shirtless?"

I laughed.

"Don't change the subject. That is true though. Maybe this is becoming a bit of a future tradition."

"How would your guys feel about that?"

I smiled and hid my face in my arms.

"They're clueless, except for Brian."

"He knows?"

"Yeah he does."

He smiled at me excitedly. I was amazed. It was like the bruises weren't even there to him. He's such a weirdo.

"What happened?"

"I told him to meet me so I could break up with him and then he told me. He's known this entire time."

"But does he know about me?"

The look on his face was practically devilish and pretty sexy. I raised my eyebrow at him and he smiled again.

"Ha, you tell me."

"Well, I just got my ass kicked for you, so obviously I don't hate you."

I laughed again.

"Well maybe _I_ hate _you_ . I never asked you to stick up for me."

"You know you don't."

"Don't be so full of yourself."

I smiled, but then let it drop. That was Brian's smile. It may sound weird, but I had a different smile for every one of them. This one was crooked in a good way and Brian loved it. This, of course, was what made it so awkward for me to use it now. I didn't even mean to. I walked into the kitchen, went into the freezer, and pulled out an ice pack.

"I'm not. You just make it obvious."

I put it against my cheek for a little while. It felt amazing! I hadn't even realized how sore it was until then. Sadly, this is also when he noticed my neck. He squinted at first, trying to make sure that he was really seeing what he though that he was seeing.

"What happened? Is that a handprint?"

He stood up and walked over to me. He touched the tip of my chin, pushing it up carefully with his middle and pointer fingers. I didn't want him this close to me, but I didn't exactly want him to move either.

"Like you said, it's nothing."

It was his turn to be the worried one.

"And like you said, that's not nothing. And is that a hickey?"

I moved my chin away from his fingers and sat in front of him on the counter. I hadn't seen my neck since before I had left Brian, but now that I think about it, that had to be an odd sight to see. A hickey on a bruise, ew. I moved the ice from my cheek to my neck, covering up the hickey.

"Brian…got a little bit carried away."

"That still doesn't explain the print."

I sighed.

"It's family stuff."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I'm willing to listen."

There it was again. He was being sweet and his eyes were hypnotic. I crossed my legs and leaned my elbows against my knees.

"It's just some stuff with my 'dad'."

"What's with the air quotes? He's not your real dad?"

"No. He's my step dad. He's a butt hole."

"Wow. I haven't heard that used in a while. How many people honestly say butt hole?"

"I do."

"Fine. He hits you?"

He was concerned. Why did he have to care?

"He tried, and… I handled it."

He was intrigued by this.

"You handled it? And how, may I ask, did you do that?"

I put my head down. He wasn't willing to let it go that easily.

"Come on. Tell me."

I put my head back up and told him the story. He watched me silently in disbelief. When I was finally done, he stared at me for a little while longer before speaking.

"You beat him with a baseball bat?"

"I didn't exactly beat him. He's just going to be sore for a few weeks."

"That's beating him. Is your mom okay?"

"She's fine."

He couldn't miss the tension in my voice.

"You have issues with your mom?"

I had no problem with getting to know him, but this was where I drew the line.

"What did you mean when you said that I make it obvious?"

"What?"

"You said that I make it obvious that I don't hate you. What were you talking about?"

"Don't think that I didn't notice you changing the subject, but you make it pretty clear. You have a habit of playing with your hair and nails."

"What?"

"You haven't noticed it? I don't know if you do that everywhere, but whenever I see you, you're always messing with one or the other."

I really hadn't noticed this. I guess it just wasn't important to me. Actually, now that I think about it, I really do those things. I tilted my head at him and shoved the ice to the bruise on his chest. He cringed and backed up a little bit. I jumped off of the counter, still holding the ice. I softened up my grip a little.

"You need a hobby."

"And you need anger management."

I smiled at him. He had no idea. If I truly didn't know how to manage my anger, a lot of people would be in the hospital right now.

"But if I got anger management, then I wouldn't be fun anymore."

I pouted my lip innocently. He wasn't mad.

"That is true."

I gasped, pretending to be hurt and pushed the ice further into his chest. I walked to the living room and lied down on the couch. He leaned on the couch over me. I put my hands under my head.

"I'm curious. Why is it that you know my history of having multiple boyfriends at once, but you're not upset?"

"Haven't we already talked about this?"

"Probably, but I'm still confused. I'm a cheater, and you act like it's a good thing."

"I'm not saying that it is, but you don't really seem to be interested in any of these guys except for Brian."

He walked around the couch. He lifted my head up and after sitting down, lowered my head into his lap.

"It's not that I'm not interested…I'm just not in love."

He started twisting his fingers in my hair. I shivered. I was getting way too comfortable with this guy and it was becoming more and more obvious. I couldn't make myself move.

"You're leading them on," he said quietly, looking down at me. Gosh darn him and those blue eyes!

"Why shouldn't I? This kind of thing happens all the time. What makes it so wrong if a girl does it instead of a guy? Every friend that I have or had has had at least one of their relationships end because their boyfriend cheated on them. If a guy has a lot of girls then he's defined as a player or a pimp. Bottom line, he gets a better status among other guys. But if a girl has more than one guy, then guys think of her as promiscuous or easy."

"So, you're doing this to prove a point?"

"I guess it's more of an accidental experiment."

"Accidental?"

"I didn't do this on purpose. It started with just Brian, and I couldn't let him go, but I couldn't give up the next guy. Besides, Brian had his own flings. Mine just happened to last longer I would think."

"Why would you be okay with that?"

"We both cheated, only difference is that he actually knew about it. He knew and he loved me anyway. Now, it would take a lot for a person to convince me that they're truly in love with me, but he's close."

"What about the other ones?"

"They're just full of it. They're afraid of losing me, and for good reason. Brian, on the other hand, knows that he has me at least for a little while. They've all told me that they love me at some point and I've never said it back. I may cheat, but I don't lie. If anything, I'll be vague on details, but never lie unless I feel it's necessary.

"I pretty much predicted these relationships before I really got into them. They would be really sweet when I met them enough for them to believe that they could ask me out and get a yes. That's when their friends would get in on it. A few of his poser friends would try to see if they could get me away from him. I have to admit, some of them put a lot of effort into it." – I took a second to readjust. He watched me curiously. – "And of course, considering that all of these guy were a part of some kind of sport or activity, they had that jock mentality, you know. At some point or another, I became their trophy. I was that chick who made the other guys jealous and the girlfriends of those guys irritated. That was my role and I played it when I felt like it."

"So you let those guys use you?"

"No. I didn't. They would have been using me if I would have been ignorant of the whole thing. I was always perfectly aware of what they were doing even when they thought that I didn't. It just didn't matter to me."

"You make no sense to me."

"I get that a lot."

His fingers were still in my hair and I was actually starting to get tired. This guy was seriously putting me to sleep in a good way. He was perfectly aware of the effect that he was having on me and kept right on doing what he was doing. I struggled to wake myself up.

"So, every time I come here, we end up talking about me and my issues. What about you? Are you with anyone right now?"

"Do you honestly think that you would be here like this right now if I was dating someone?"

His face was perfectly calm. I realized for the first time in a while that I was still holding onto his shirt.

"I don't know, you tell me."

"No. I'm not dating anyone right now."

"And why is that?"

"I don't really have much of a thing for long term relationships."

"Does anyone really?"

"No I don't think so."

"And that is exactly my point."

He jumped suddenly, making me scream a little bit. He laughed at me while taking his hand out of my hair long enough to pull his phone out of his pocket.

"Hey…No, I can't… I'm busy…. Alright."

He closed his phone. I didn't bother to ask who it was. It really wasn't my business and I hated it when people asked me about things that didn't concern me.

"So you've never cheated?" I asked once he put his phone back into his pocket.

"I have."

"Why?"

He seemed to be thinking really hard about this question.

"I don't remember."

This time, it was my phone that vibrated. Brian needed to see me. I honestly couldn't imagine what for. I had just seen him. I stood up reluctantly. I really didn't want to move, but I was curious.

"I gotta go."

"Can I have my shirt first?"

I smiled at him and started walking closer to the door, keeping the shirt behind my back. He stood up slowly taking a few steps in my direction. Once I was just a few feet from the door, I spun around and ran out. I could hear him laughing close behind me. He was just lucky that we didn't do this yesterday. Today it was around sixty degrees. Yesterday, it was snowing. I ran full speed to his backyard. I knew I couldn't outrun him, but that was the best part of it. Within seconds, I was yanked up and off of the ground. My squeals blended in with his laughing.

He put me back down, but kept his arms wrapped around my waist. I could feel his breath on my neck and it tickled. I stretched the shirt out in front of me. His lips brushed across the top of my collarbone and I froze. This was no accident. They went from my collarbone, to the base of my neck to my earlobe.

"Can I have it back please," he whispered. I smiled.

"No," I whispered back. I moved out of his grip and turned to face him. He simply watched me as I took a few steps back, creating space between us. I put my hand on my hip and held the shirt in front of me. It only took him two large steps to fill the gap and he grabbed the shirt. I didn't let go. I pulled on it one good time, surprising him, and kissed him. He put his arms back around my waist. He had studs in his lip as usual today and they were so warm! Both of our phones vibrated. I was tempted to throw it down a flight of stairs, out a window and under a moving truck, and I didn't need to look at it to know who it was. The last thing that I wanted to do was to leave. I messed with the left stud with my fingernail and sighed.

"I have to go."

"So do I," he whispered back.

"You needed to talk to me?"

I was talking to Brian, but it was Christian who was still on my mind. I mean, come on, if you just had a moment like that, this guy would be stuck on your mind too. I kept playing with my ear and hoping that Brian wouldn't notice. I had to admit, Christian had truly gotten under my skin, and he didn't even have to leave a physical mark. You know, a friend of mine once told me that a true lover never leaves a mark. Maybe there was more to that than I thought at the time. There was not a single hickey in sight other than the one that Brian had left earlier that day. We were back under our tree and I was still curious as to what it was that was so important that it had to interrupt my make out session. Sure, I know that sounds bad, but what would you call it?

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the game with me tonight."

That was it? This was a serious waste of my life. Whatever, maybe I can break up with Andrew while I'm there.

"Technically, I'm not allowed on school grounds for another two days."

"I won't tell if you don't."

He put his arm over my shoulder and led me down the middle row of bleachers over to a few of his friends. They watched me. I ignored them. They were probably surprised to see that we were still together. It had been a while since Brian and I had been seen together. I had decided that if I was going to be here, I might as well look the part and wear a little bit of school spirit. I wore Brian's letter jacket, my favorite black and gold school shirt, and the dark blue jeans that I had already been wearing.

He leaned back against the row of bleachers behind him and I leaned against his chest just like we used to. I looked over and saw Drake watching us. I gave him a small smile and he did the same. Drake was one of Brian's closest friends and I guess you can say we had a small fling. Brian and I had been together for a few months and Drake was always with his friends, thus I was there too. I had to admit, Drake was pretty cute. He had the cutest hazel eyes; he was about my height with light brown skin, and shaggy brown hair that always bounced when he ran.

I turned around and told Brian that I was going to go to the concession stand. I stood up and I could practically feel both Drake and Brian watching me. Sadly, the concession stand didn't sell Vodka, but brownies were good too. The money that they were making from selling the brownies and cookies were going to some charity, so I decided to buy four. I would give Brian one…maybe. I paid the little girl at the table and turned around to see a familiar person on the wall across from me with a not so familiar person attached to his face.


	4. Family Problems

**Chapter 4 **

My heart stopped. If you haven't guessed yet, it was Christian who was all over some little female dog in a not so private area. Considering that this was high school and it was mostly high school students in the area, no one really cared. Of course, that is, no one cared but me. This couldn't be happening. I just left him. We were just… he said…what the… UGH! Why did I even care? He was just like all the others. I turned around when I realized that I was staring. I went back to my seat and sat down with the brownies. I didn't want any of them to notice my sudden anger, especially not Brian. I took my position back against his chest and handed him one of the brownies. He thanked me and kissed my fore head. I gave the other one to Drake.

After that irritatingly disgusting display of….affection, I really wasn't that hungry, and me turning down chocolate is a serious thing. It's truly a miracle that I'm still as small as I am. It really doesn't make any sense to me, but I'm not complaining. I love my coke bottle shape. But that's really beside the point. I looked up at the entrance to the gym in time to see them sit down a few rows down from me. That was a big mistake. The second that Brian stood up to go to the bathroom, I took my half-eaten brownie and threw it at the back of his head. It was an easy shot and it made both him and his 'girlfriend' jump. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow when he looked back.

Drake had watched the whole thing, but I didn't care. I didn't move and neither did Christian. He didn't need to. His expression was enough. He was completely shocked. I stood up, and I could tell by the sudden pounding on the bleachers that he was following me. I sped up a little bit and could see him out of the corner of my eye. Brian had perfect timing. I smiled his smile and pushed him up against the very same wall that Christian had been on earlier.

"I missed you," I whispered in his ear, trying to make it seem like a big deal before kissing him. I could be a pretty good actress when I wanted to be and Brian was definitely not objecting. I put my hands in his hair and made sure that my tongue could be seen, really making a show out of it. I cracked my eye a little bit to see if Christian was still there. He was walking away. This hurt me a lot more than I thought it would.

"So, what was his name," Brian asked me once we were back in his car.

"Who?"

"I know how you are about P.D.A. There was no way you would do all that unless you had a reason. So, what was his name?"

I sighed. What was the point in lying?

"His name is Christian. I was with him before you called."

"Do you like him?"

"I don't know… maybe."

This was not the kind of conversation I ever expected to have with my…would you call him my boyfriend? I guess you would. We've been together for two years; I would guess that that would still be his title at this point. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"What would you call whatever it is that we're doing right now?"

He was perfectly calm.

"I'd call it riding in a car."

He laughed, but it wasn't very comforting.

"That's not what I was talking about. I meant, what is this? Are we still together? 'Cause, I mean, you know about my flings, and you know that I love you, but I don't know about you. I don't want you to tell me that you love me; I know you don't, but I need to know that this is at least going somewhere."

We were at his house, and I knew that his dad wasn't home. His dad was never home. To put it simply, Brian had never really been on good terms with his father and for clear reason.

His dad hated him.

To his dad, Brian was just another mouth to feed. He had loved Brian's mom, but after she got pregnant, that 'love' was suddenly gone and so was Brian's dad. The only reason he came back was the sad fact that Brian's mom was dying and Brian was only twelve. Brian was stuck with his deadbeat dad. True, his dad never beat him, but his forms of abuse were just as bad. This story truly broke what had been growing of my cold, little heart.

Even with my multiple guys that I would most likely be getting rid of very soon, I knew I needed Brian. There was no denying that. I know that I had thought about breaking up with him just earlier that day, but it wasn't under these circumstances. Everything was different now. Christian had made my decision for me. I had been confused about which one I would have to get rid of and now I knew. But UGH…why did it have to bother me so much?! He had been kissing that chick the same way he had been kissing me only a few hours before. But why would that bother me now? I've been doing the same thing for over two years now.

Maybe this was what was going through Jack's mind before he went ballistic. Maybe there actually was something more to this and I was just ignoring it.

"Layla, are you going to say anything?"

Brian's voice broke through my thoughts and I looked at him for the first time during the entire car ride.

"I…I'm…sorry."

This was when the waterworks started. They were slow, but it still bothered me that tears were coming out period. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried at such a weird time, but all of the stuff that had been building up for years was coming up and coming fast. He got out of the car, just as shocked as I was, and led me to the front door. He hesitated at the living room. He was probably thinking that there was a chance that his dad would suddenly appear. He finally decided that his room would be better. I hadn't realized how cold I was until his arms were around me. I started crying even harder. My face was in his chest and I knew that his shirt would be soaked soon. It all made me think of what had made me keep him in the first place instead of leaving him.

Back when we had first met, we were best friends. I needed him. Whenever something would go wrong, it would be him that I would talk to. If I didn't talk to him, I would break down, even if we just talked about school. It didn't matter. I just needed to communicate with him in some way. It was really thanks to him that I was still alive. The others guys didn't matter. Christian didn't matter. I just needed Brian and Brian needed me.

Now I knew. I calmed my breathing long enough to whisper, "I love you."

His body tensed. I didn't need to see his face to know that he had heard me. I felt his head move above mine as he kissed my forehead. This all just seemed so weird, but I wasn't ready to wake up from this dream just yet. I moved my head to his shoulder so that I could breathe easier. I hated crying. It always made me cough and now I really wanted to sleep. My eyelids started to get heavy and Brian leaned back, taking me with him. I was too comfortable to move. He kept his arms around me and I kept my head under his chin.

I woke up the next morning and Brian was gone. I turned over and looked around his room. I could hear him running up the stairs and then the opening and closing of the door.

"Good, you're up. My dad came back last night. We have to go."

After my emotional episode last night, I was feeling a little bit devilish.

"I'm curious."

I balanced myself on my knees and started bouncing, making sure to make a lot of noise. He watched me.

"What are you doing?"

"You honestly don't get it?"

I screamed. He understood.

"So, are you going to help me, or do I have to do this by myself," I asked, smiling at him. I moaned, trying to make it sound convincing. Like I said before, I could be a pretty good actress when I wanted to be. He finally joined in and stomped the floor a few times. We kept this up for a few minutes and then for our finale, I pushed him up against the door and said in the fakest voice that I could muster, "Oh my gosh! Where's my bra?"

We waited another few minutes and then ran to the front door.

"If she comes back pregnant, you better go ahead and find some place else to stay, 'cause you won't be bringing no baby in here!" his dad called after us as we ran to Brian's car.

He stopped in front of my house.

"I love you," he said when I took off my seat belt. I kissed him quickly on the cheek.

"I love you too."

He smiled and I got out. I had to get used to saying it, but it felt right, so that's a start. A familiar '04 Toyota Tundra was parked beside mine in the driveway. It couldn't be him. Why would he be here now? I ran in. No, it couldn't be him. I walked into the dining room and beside my mom sat the absolute most gorgeous guy that it has ever been my pleasure to know. There was no way that those perfect hazel eyes were really looking at me right now.

"Mike?"

I had said this so low that I was surprised that he had even heard me, but he stood up and smiled that amazing smile of his. I had to still be asleep. He was supposed to be in college. He walked over to me, wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up just like he used to.

"Hey Lala. Did you miss me?"

He was the only person that had ever called me that. I screamed and wrapped my arms and legs around him.

"No, I didn't miss you at all. You abandoned me," I said, pretending to sound angry. He put me down and kept smiling.

"It's not my fault that I'm a year older than you."

I took his hand and ran up to my room. There were some parts of our relationship that I didn't want my mom hearing about. I had met Mike at a football game when I was in the eighth grade and we started dating a little while after I started high school. He was in a completely different category than all of the others and even though I had met Brian while I was still with him, it wasn't the same thing. I was in love with this guy and there was no questioning it. When he left, we broke up. I didn't believe in long-distance relationships and neither did he. I was depressed and there was Brian. For all he knew, Mike was my best friend. What he didn't know was that I almost ended up sleeping with him…twice. I was perfectly sober when both incidents almost occurred and I don't regret either one of them. Of course, that's pretty easy to say considering that what could have happened didn't happen.

But, I won't go into details, I was just glad to see him.

"You're not a full year older than me and you know it."

"It might as well be."

"Six months is not a full year. It's exactly half."

"I'm still older."

"Whatever, why are you here?"

I was bouncing on my bed like a three year old. He moved my desk chair in front of me.

"I came here to see you."

"I know that. Why aren't you in college?"

"I got a job."

"And what does this job involve?"

"I'm going to be a professional artist. I've already sold some of my work."

"Are you serious?! That's amazing!"

Next to football and me, art was his main interest. He was an amazing artist and I was pretty jealous of him for that.

"I know. I'm going to be traveling a bit to show off my work, but I'll be dropping in from time to time. Are there any surprises that I should know about?"

"What kind of surprises?"

"Are there any new boyfriends that I should look out for?"

I tensed up a little bit. He smiled and asked, "What's his name?"

"Brian."

"Do you love him?"

"I might."

"Have you told him that?"

"I did last night actually."

"Then I bet this is all pretty awkward for you."

"You have no idea," I said, rolling my eyes. He laughed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm glad to see you. How about you? Are there any lucky ladies who I'll have to interrogate?"

He smiled.

"Ha, I missed that. No, there isn't. The whole traveling thing doesn't really leave much room for a personal life."

"How long are you going to be here?"

"A week, maybe longer."

"Where are you staying?"

"I was going to get a hotel room, but your mom insisted that I stay here."

"Then this should be fun."

How was it possible that the love of my life would suddenly appear the very day after I realize that I'm in love with my current boyfriend? And then there's Christian. Ugh, Christian. That freaking butt face! How could he sit there and make out with some girl when we had just been together only a few hours before that?! Yeah, yeah, I know that sounds bad coming from me of all people, but what would you do in my situation? Why did it have to be so hard? If I could combine these guys into one, I would in a heartbeat, but that's not the case at all.

Strangely enough, nearly ten minutes later I found myself lying with Mike on my bed while I got a text from Christian.

_Hey. I'm sry bout last nite. I still want 2 get 2 kno u bttr if ull give me the chance_

"Boyfriend troubles," Mike asked me. It was no surprise that he had been reading right along with me. I shook my head.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"It sounds like he is. Or is he a friend with benefits, because if he is then my feelings are officially hurt. You know that I wanted to be your first."

I hit him hard in the stomach. He laughed at the fact that he had gotten to me and smiled his huge, devilish grin.

"No he is not my boyfriend and he is far from being my friend with benefits. I currently despise him."

"If I'm remembering this correctly, you despised me too and look where it got us."

"That's not the same thing."

"How is it different?"

"You never cheated on me."

"Isn't that what you're doing to him?"

I stopped and just stared at him for a second. I had thought about this a million times, but it seemed completely different coming from him.

"Yeah, but it's not the same thing; he knew. I didn't. He told me that he wasn't dating anyone."

"Does that really make it right?"

We both jumped at the sound of the front door slamming. I jumped up and grabbed my dad's bat from underneath my bed. My mom screamed and Mike was out the door before I was. We rushed down the stairs and there was my mom on the ground lying in an unnatural position. I had to look away. I had to find him. We walked slowly through the living room and jumped at the sound of a shot going off. My eyes were wide. We didn't need to find where the shot had come from to know what had happened. This was all just a bad dream, right? It had to be. Before I realized what I was doing, I started to walk further into the living room. I could feel Mike's eyes on me, but he didn't say a word. I could see the red stain in the carpet before I turned the corner.

There he was. My step father was lying there motionless with the gun only a few inches away from him. I dropped the bat. It was the only thing I could do to keep myself from beating him with it again. I turned back around and walked over to my mom. I whispered her name, waiting for her to wake up. I knelt down beside her and put my ear to her chest. There was no sound, no thump, no heartbeat…no life. I let out a strange sound that sounded like a mix between a moan, a sigh, and a whine. I touched my middle and index finger to her neck near her ear and jerked my hand back, letting out a scream. Seconds later, Mike's arms were around me, pulling me away.

"He broke her neck!" I screamed, starting to hyperventilate. He held me tighter. I put my face into his chest, trying to make myself breathe. This wasn't happening. She wasn't dead. He didn't kill her. She's going to wake up. I couldn't look at her. Her eyes were still open and her expression was one that was impossible for me to shake. Terror was etched into her young complexion and I couldn't get over that. I screamed again. How could he do this to her? How could he do this to me?! I tried to get out of Mike's grip, but with a simple flex of his arms, there was no way I was getting away from him. I didn't stop trying though.

"LET ME GO! HE KILLED HER! HE KILLED HER!"

I kept thrashing around. He had me off of the ground now and I could feel him walking. His heart was pounding nearly as hard as mine was as it beat against my ear. This made me calm down a little bit, or at least enough to stop kicking.

"Calm down…calm down. It's going to be okay," he whispered in my ear. His voice was shaky and unstable, but he tried to hide it. He walked a little farther and he waited until I was completely still before balancing me in his left arm so that he could pick something up with his right hand. I was trembling now and perfectly silent with the exception of my heavy breathing and random noises that managed to slip through my lips. I could hear him pushing buttons and that was when I realized that he had picked up the phone.

We sat in my room once the police were done questioning us. Mike was still holding me and I was still crying. My phone vibrated beside me. I didn't bother to check it. They didn't matter right now, no matter who it was. My mother was dead and I didn't care about whatever bull it was that they had to say. My breathing finally started to even out and by how steady Mike's breathing had become, I was pretty sure that he was asleep. I looked up at him for the first time. He was fighting to stay awake.

"Go ahead and go to sleep. I'm fine." I whispered. I sat up slowly and my cheek brushed against his. He shivered a little bit and finally stopped gave up. He snored quietly with his head against the backboard of my bed. My phone vibrated in my hand again and I saw that I had five missed calls and three text messages. I got off of my bed carefully and stood there. Where could I possibly go? The cops and investigators were surely still down there and I couldn't stand to see that room anyway. I couldn't live in this house. I couldn't afford it on my own even if I wanted to.


	5. Roses & Lilies

**Chapter 5 **

How long would it be until my entire family found out? I had to call my grandparents, my aunts, my uncles, and a few of my cousins. I couldn't handle that, not now. I watched Mike sleep. It was really comforting to have him back. He just seemed so comfortable even after all of this and that was contagious. I sat down in my desk chair and ran my fingers through my hair. This was all happening so fast. One second, everything seems perfect, if not a bit dramatic, and then the next…my mom is dead. My breathing sped up a little bit at the thought.

My phone buzzed again in my hand. Exhausted, I opened it. Brian had left me another text message. I actually took the time to read this one.

_ANSWER ME PLEASE! I saw the news. R u ok? _

I stood up and walked to my window. There in my front yard, parked beside the remaining cop cars, sat a news van. I was beyond mad. They hadn't called. They hadn't talked to me about this. They just put my family's business out there for the area to see. There were people coming out of their houses and looking through their windows at the scene that was my house. I opened the door, closed it behind me quietly and rushed downstairs. I held my breath as I walked past the crime scene and over to the front door. The smell wasn't exactly pleasant and it lingered throughout the bottom floor of the house.

I pulled the front door open and was swarmed by news people. They surrounded me with their questions and cameras and microphones. I pushed past them angrily. Brian was parking his car next to the sidewalk in front of my house. I didn't need this right now. Surely he wouldn't recognize Mike's truck, right? He didn't see it often enough to remember it. I walked around the cars in the crowded driveway and went to Brian's window before he had the chance to get out. To my surprise, my voice was still a little bit shaky.

"Hey. I'm sorry I didn't answer the phone. I was a little bit distracted."

He looked at me in disbelief. I knew I had to look like crap, but at least I had an excuse. What kind of person would I be if I looked like a freaking supermodel after my mom was killed? I hadn't bothered to clean myself up in the slightest. He got out of the car and hugged me. I know this may seem a bit heartless, but I just stood there. Thanks to Mike I was all hugged out for one day. Oh crap. Mike was still asleep in my room.

Brian pushed me to arms length so that he could see my expression.

"You want to be alone right now, don't you?"

Thank goodness! He made that part of my day so much easier.

"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. Call me if you need me, alright?"

"Okay."

He gave me another hug and a kiss before getting back into his car. I waited until he was down the street before turning around and going back into my house if you can even call it that at this point. I held my breath, looked straight ahead, and ran up to my room. Mike shook at the sound of me closing the door and finally woke up. He always was a light sleeper. I sat down in front of him and crossed my legs.

"How do you feel?" he asked me while rubbing his eyes. I ran my fingers through the gigantic knot that was my hair.

"I feel about as bad as I look."

I tried to smile, but I knew that it wasn't very convincing.

"Well considering all that's happened; you really don't look that terrible. Are you going to stay here?"

"I have to for right now. My mom already took care of the bills for this month, but what am I going to do next month or the month after that? All I have is my college fund and the emergency fund that my dad started for me. I have to get a job and how great of a job can I possibly get while I'm still in school?"

I was rambling and before I knew it, I was crying again. My life was screwed. Mike reached forward and took my face in his hands.

"Breathe. It's going to be okay. You have me."

He smiled. I pushed his hands away and started wiping my face.

"And what…is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't have to go the second they call me and you're going to be graduating soon. I'm sure you have a reasonable amount of money in your accounts and your mom was doing pretty well before…."

"There's no guarantee that I'll be able to afford college. They won't pay for everything."

"Yeah, but you won't be either. I heard about your scholarship. That's better than not having anything at all. Come on, smile for me. I have something for you."

He stood up and walked out of the room. When he came back, he was carrying the same bag that he used to take to school and put his art in. He sat down in front of me. Whatever it was that he had, he was really excited about it. He flipped open the bag and pulled out what looked like a photo album. He tossed it onto my lap. A perfectly life-like red rose and white lily were drawn on the front underneath the words 'For Lala' with their stems intertwined. The red ink that was used for the letters matched the color of the rose. This was written in the cursive handwriting that he used to autograph his work. The rest of the cover was black, making the flowers stand out more.

I didn't want to take my eyes off of the cover. It was amazing. It was something that only Mike would think of, for me anyway.

"Open it."

I smiled. This was the Mike that I fell in love with. He was just like a kid at Christmas, only he was like this all the time. I opened the album and stopped at the first page. It was the picture of me that he had drawn the day that he left. That was without a doubt one of the worst days of my life. Of course, considering how this day was going, that day didn't seem as bad. I had been sitting on my windowsill that day and he was just as upset as I was, but he had a few hours before his flight. He could've just taken a picture, but he wanted something more personal.

He had asked me to sit still. I was furious at him for leaving even though I knew that he had to but I did what he asked. I didn't want to look at him, so I just looked out the window. I didn't want to look at him now either, but I could feel him watching me just like he had been that day. See something important that I should mention about Mike and the way he draws is that his art is usually based on his memories. I say this because that fact was obvious as I flipped through the book. After the first picture was one of nothing but snow. This was special to me because he knew that winter was my favorite season and I that I was always happiest when it snowed. It was just so serene and simple, and that seemed to make it even more complex if that makes any sense. The majority of the book was based on my favorite things including the cover. Roses and lilies have always been my favorite kinds of flowers.

The last two pictures made my heart stop. The first of the two was a drawing of me, Mike…and my mom. Judging by the background, the picture was of my mom's thirty-sixth birthday. Mike had talked me into setting up her surprise party and in the picture, we were cutting her cake. In the corner, he put the actual picture that had been taken of the moment. I ran my fingertips over the real picture and then looked at the next page beside it. It was without a doubt a picture of our first kiss. I still remember it perfectly and obviously…he did too.

It happened the day that he asked me out. I didn't have my car then, or my license, and he offered to give me a ride after the football game. We were good enough friends at that point that I was willing to ride with him. We talked and decided to stop at the park. Of course, I was having issues at home and I was looking for as many excuses as possible to stay out. We sat by the lake and just talked. It was pitch black and the only light was coming from the moon and the few park lights.

That was the day that he became not only my boy friend, but also my best friend. I told him things that I had never dared to tell anyone. I closed the book and ran my fingers over the cover. I knew what I needed to do. I surprised him by kissing him quickly on the lips and then jumping off the bed to the door.

"I have something that I need to take care of, and there's a key on my desk if you need to go somewhere." I yelled while running down the stairs, out the front door and to my car. Ten minutes later, I was parked in front of Christian's house yet again. I stepped out slowly and walked to his front door. I could hear the ding of the doorbell ring throughout the house the second that I pushed the button. He opened the door and looked at me with a mix of fear, curiosity, and sadness in his expression.

"Can I come in?" I asked quietly. He stepped to the side and closed the door behind me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you. I was being a hypocrite." I said as I sat beside Christian on his couch. He leaned his head to the side and watched me.

"Don't compare us," he said, "It's not the same thing."

I turned and faced the TV. He had it on the news. He followed my gaze and reached for the remote. I stopped him.

_"I'm here now in front of the scene where a brutal murder-suicide took place. Only hours ago, thirty-eight year old Lana Pearson was strangled in her home by her husband, Shane Pearson, who killed himself directly after. The only witnesses to this horrific set of events were Lana's eighteen year-old daughter and her daughter's supposed boyfriend."_

I froze. What if Brian saw this? It was pretty obvious that the 'boyfriend' that they were talking about wasn't him.

"Are you okay?" he asked me in barely over a whisper. I looked at him and realized just how important all of this was to me. It needed to be done.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure about that?"

"No…not really."

"Do you want to talk about her?"

There it was. This was my reason for being the cheater that I am. I had blown up on him and he still wanted to listen to me. The sad thing is, I had this in Brian and Mike too. Who was I to have these three amazing guys when most girls pray every day for just one. I really didn't deserve them. Next thing I knew, I was crying on his shoulder. Emotions suck.

"Tell me about her." He whispered, playing with my hair again.

"I was mad at her," my guard was down.

"Why?"

I couldn't help but to tell him. I needed to get this out. "I had a brother…he was five years older than me. He was my world. I did everything he said…I looked up to him and she just let him… _die_ ."

The words burned in my throat and I started choking. He got up and got me a glass of water.

"What happened?"

"Her second husband was a monster. He used to beat my brother and there was nothing that I could do about it. He was sixteen and that bastard hated him. He beat him at least once a day and whenever I tried to get help, he would come after me. My mom didn't do a thing. She knew and she didn't do anything! She was too afraid of him. She always thought that if she did do anything…that he would kill one of us or all us."- I took a second to force myself to breathe. –"He came home drunk one night and Chris fought back. Chris put up a good fight, but…he just couldn't take him."

That was all of the story that I could get out. It was all that I could live with. The only sound coming from Christian was the quiet hum of his breathing. I was still in shock from telling him all of that. The only other person outside of my family who knew about this was Mike. Aw crap. He was still at my house I guess. Well, I still had one more thing that I needed to take care of. I knew that my face was stained, my hair was a mess, and that I was still hyperventilating, but I pushed myself out of Christian's arms. He was surprised, but he let me go. I looked into the eyes and almost wanted to cry again, but I was done with the emotions for one day.

"I have to go take care of something, okay."

"Do you know what time it is?" he asked calmly and pointed at the clock on the wall. It was almost midnight. I sighed. How did I always manage to not be able to leave his house at night?

"I've had one hell of a day. Do you have anything strong?"

He smiled and stood up. He had won once again. I followed him into the kitchen and watched as he pulled out a bottle of Smirnoff from the small closet.

"Shh, my sister doesn't know that I know where this is."

I smiled and took the bottle. Strawberry had always been my favorite.

"This is going to be fun."

"Do you think you can actually use a glass this time?"

I frowned playfully.

"But what's the fun in that?"

I pulled the top off and took in a mouthful. I let the alcohol go down slowly and let my pain slip out. I was no alcoholic, but I could understand how someone could become one. For that quick second, I felt amazing. The buzz was coming. I took in another mouthful and then handed the bottle to Christian. He was hesitant at first and then finally took the bottle from my hand.

Nearly an hour (and a full bottle of Smirnoff later) we were walking to his room. It was still just as spotless and perfect as it was the last time I had seen it. I sat in his desk chair. My head was cloudy, and it was pretty relaxing.

"Why is your room so…perfect?"

Teehee, my words sounded funny. I leaned back and touched the tips of my fingers to the floor. He smiled and sat down on his perfectly perfect perfectly made bed. I stood up and sat down Indian style with my legs crossed beside him. We hadn't been keeping track, but it was pretty clear that I was way drunker than he was. Ha, drunker.

"Why are you so…shut out?"

I looked at all three of him and just stared. What did he mean by that?

"What are you talking about?"

He burped.

"You never talk about the serious stuff unless you're drunk or upset. And then with all these guys that you have, you probably talk to me more than you've talked to most of them."

"And your point…is?"

"I'm no psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing."

"You know, you never answered my question."

"And you never answered mine."

"I asked you first." Was I really being as loud as I felt like I was? My throat was hurting, but everything sounded kinda buzzy. Maybe there's a bee in here.

"If I answer your question, will you answer mine?"

I put my index finger on my lip and then leaned my head in his lap. He put his hands behind him and put his weight on them.

"We'll just have to see now won't we?"

He sighed.

"Fine, my mom always loved for my room to be spotless. She would always be so proud of me when I cleaned on my own. I don't why she would get as excited as she would, but she did and it was nice. I've kept my room perfect ever since. You're turn."

"My turn for what, are we playing a game?"

"Why are you so shut out?"

"Because I can be, Mr. Bossy. Nobody has to know how I feel. It's none of their business, just mine. I only tell you stuff cause you make me. I don't like being me to you. I'm no fun. And you make it hard. You're too good to me. You all are and drinking makes me feel better cause when I think all of this stuff and say all of this, I can't remember it later. Is there any Smirnoff left?"

"You don't need anymore," he whispered, "Maybe you should go to bed."

"Ha, only if you go with me."

I rolled over so that my head was still in his lap, but I was facing him. He smiled.

"Don't tempt me."

I sat up.

"Maybe I want to tempt you."

"You're drunk."

"You don't know that. I could be perfectly logical right now."

"It's pretty obvious that you're not."

"Are you a virgin, because you seem scared? Is that it?"

"No…I'm not a virgin and I don't want you to make a mistake. Besides, I think it's clear who the virgin in this situation is."

"First of all, shouldn't I be the one worried about that? And second… is it that obvious?"

"You make it obvious. With the exception of your multiple boyfriends, you're a good girl. Let's keep it that way for a while. "

"Maybe I don't want to be a good girl. Ever think about that?"

"No. You're untouched, and I'm not the one who's supposed to change that. You don't love me."

"You don't know that. Maybe I want you to be the one who changes me. Maybe I don't want it anymore. Maybe I want you to be the one who takes it. You never know, I could love you."

"Could you?"

"I don't know…it's possible. It took me until not too long ago to realize that I might actually love Brian."

"And that was definitely something that I wanted to hear."

His sarcasm hurt my feelings, and I really didn't mean to hurt his.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't what you were expecting. Are you saying that you love me?"

"Yes, I love you, but loving someone isn't the same thing as being _in_ love with someone. Right now I'm in lust, but I fear that I may be dangerously close to falling in love. We'll have to see."

Oh gosh! That was a shocker, but it was even more of a shocker that I had managed to keep my bladder from exploding for that long. I ran to the bathroom. When I came back, he was laughing. I laughed with him, I felt so much better. I was tired of the love topic. It was stiff and so was the atmosphere.

"You're tense."

"And who's fault is that?" he asked sarcastically. His face was serious now. He was so cute.

"I make you nervous?"

"Of course; you never noticed that?"

"No."

"Well, now you know. And you need some water or a muffin or something to get rid of at least a little bit of that alcohol."

"I don't want a muffin," I whined, "I want you."

"You're drunk, you don't mean that."

"Don't tell me what I mean."

"I'm not going to take advantage of you like that."

His voice was stern, determined, and utterly sexy. Ha, utterly. COWS!

"You won't be."

"You'll regret it in the morning."

"Stop telling me what I'm going to do! You can sleep with random girls but it's a sin to sleep with me?"

"That has nothing to do with it."

He stood up and looked at me. We were both mad. I jumped off of the bed and stepped in front of him.

"Then prove it."

I stood on the tips of my toes and smiled as he let out a shaky breath. I pressed my lips to his softly and pulled away, waiting for his reaction. I didn't have to wait long. He filled in the few centimeters that I had created between us and this time it was he who took my breath away. He didn't fight me. He needed me just as much as I needed him, maybe even more. He was impatient, needy, and nervous all at once. Most importantly, he tasted like strawberries. Not like like Strawberry Smirnoff, but strawberries in general. One of his hands migrated from my waist to my hair. And suddenly his entire body tensed and he stepped back.

"We're not doing this," he whispered, shaking his head, "Not like this, not when you're…like this."

I pouted like a five-year old and crossed my arms.

"But you want to."

"You know that I want to, but not like this. You should seriously consider abstinence. It's not worth it."

It interested me how he refused to use the word 'sex'.

"You're telling me what to do again."

"Then maybe you should listen."

"What's your problem?"

"For right now, you're my problem," he yelled, "You're sexy, ok! Is that what you wanted to hear? You're gorgeous and you're amazing. You're a really sweet girl and you have no idea of what you're getting yourself into."

"Neither do you."

"I know a lot more about you than you do about me."

"So what, did you kill a person?"

"Technically it wasn't a person."

This caught my attention. I was focusing on him a lot more on him then than I had the entire day.

"What?"

"I'll tell you when you're sober. I want you to actually remember this. Now do you want a muffin or water?"

"What kind of muffins do you have?" I whispered.

"Chocolate."

He smiled. He knew that he had won this round, but that only meant that there would be more rounds to come. MUWAHAHA!

"Then you already know the answer to that question, don't you?"

We sat on the counter in the kitchen and split a muffin quietly. I looked over at him and he was staring back at me.

"What?" I asked. I couldn't help but to smile a little bit. He laughed.

"I just can't believe you sometimes. You're just so unpredictable. I've never met a girl quite as…random as you. Have you ever done anything like this with any of your other guys?"

I didn't really like this question. He still didn't know just how serious Mike and I had been, and in a way, still were.

"I spent the night at Brian's, but nothing happened, and there's another guy."

"There's another one?"

His shock was amazingly sarcastic and it made me laugh a little bit.

"Well, I don't really count him as one of 'them'. He means more to me than all of them do. I met him before I met any of them and… I love him."

"Wow. The entire time that I've known you, you've never talked about loving anyone. It's a miracle...you have a heart!"

I hit him in his shoulder. He was lucky that I was still a bit tipsy; if not then it actually would have hurt.

"Yes, it's a cold one, but it does exist. Can you answer a question for me?"

"It depends."

"Who was that girl that you were with at the basketball game?"

His smile faded away and stone took its place.

"I guess you can call us ex friends with benefits."

"So you've slept with her more than once?"

"Yes."

"You still do?"

"No, but that has to do with the story that I'll tell you in the morning. Are you ready to go to bed?"

"I'm guessing that you're still not coming with me?"

"No."

"Then at least stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Fine, but only until you fall asleep."

I smiled. He did just as he said that he would and I fell asleep in his arms. I knew that I was restless. But, then again, I generally was when I went to bed drunk. I felt him move once he thought that I had actually gone to sleep. I felt so much colder once he left, but he kissed my forehead before sighing and taking light steps to the door. I couldn't hear him open or close it, but I could once my headache woke me up accompanied by my bladder, but of course, at the time, I didn't know that it wasn't him who had opened and closed the door. It had been his sister and she was not a happy camper. I sat up at the volume of her voice. Considering the fact that she had just found a girl in her brother's bed, you think she would be a little bit more considerate. Okay, maybe not.


	6. Confessional

**Chapter 6**

"What were you thinking?! I thought you were done with shit like this! After what happened…"

He cut her off.

"Be quiet! She's not feeling too well and I'm sure you're yelling won't help anything," he hissed, "Nothing happened last night and I was going to explain that to her this morning."

"Is that the same girl who was here last time?"

She had lowered her voice, but she still sounded just as furious.

"Yes it is."

"And nothing's happened between you two?"

"Not that."

"How can I trust you anymore, Christian? Every time I come here, it's like there's a different girl walking around here."

"You can't, but she's different. There might be something there."

"Something like what? Love? Are you capable of such a thing?"

"Look, I know that what I did was wrong, but it's not like I was the only one involved. I can't change what happened. All I can do is learn from it."

"It never should have happened."

Oh no. The Smirnoff was starting to come back up. I jumped up and bolted to the closest bathroom. I slammed the door behind me. I meant to do it quietly, but obviously that didn't happen. They heard me.

"So, is she drunk or pregnant?"

He didn't answer her. I heard his footsteps get closer to the door.

"Layla, are you okay?"

"I'll be out…in…a second."

UGH! There really might have been something behind that muffin thing. I felt a lot less like crap than I usually did when I had a hangover. And luckily, I had left my toothbrush here. Now that I think about it, that's amazingly awkward. Once I was balanced, I walk to the living room where he and his sister were waiting. I stopped in the doorway and seriously considered hiding in his room until the tension had disappeared from the area. They both looked at me.

"So… I'm supposed to be hearing a story?"

Christian sighed and his sister gestured for me to sit down diagonal from her on the empty couch. I sat at the end closest to Christian. When he opened his mouth to speak, his words came out in barely over a whisper, "A few months ago, I met this girl and we were a bit serious. We both went to parties constantly, we drank all the time, smoked a little bit…and then we just started sleeping together. It was high school so I didn't really see it as such a bit thing. She wasn't the only girl that I was with at the time, but she was the only one…who got pregnant."- His sister grunted. - "She told her parents and they made the decision for her: she was going to get an abortion. For a little while, she wanted to keep the baby, and was considering at least adoption, but her parents felt that an abortion would be the best thing for her.

"She came here once her parents made the decision and told me everything. I didn't really want her to have the abortion; it was against our religion, which you can probably guess from my name. But there was no getting out of it. Her parents refused to have a daughter pregnant at that age. They wanted her to have a life and an abortion was the only way to have that. I was the one who drove her to the clinic and sat with her when they did the procedure. There were only a few girls in the waiting room with us, but they were almost all our age and they were all alone. There was one woman though who was probably in her early thirties. She was having her third abortion that day. I couldn't believe it.

"She had never been married and she probably, to this day, still goes clubbing every night. Once the abortion was over with, the girl was heart broken and so was I. We had created a life together and it was gone. We were both changed after that. I've been celibate ever since. And last night, all I could think about that was that little boy or girl that I'll never get to see. _That's_ why I kept saying that It wasn't worth it."

His face was stone. There wasn't the smallest hint of a tear in his eyes, but plenty of pain. I wanted to cry for him. This explained a lot, but that didn't make it any easier to take in. It just made what I had to do even more obvious. I stood up and walked to the door. His eyes followed me the entire time.

"I have something that I really need to do. We'll talk later, I promise."

I went outside and started my car. This was really important. I was done with emotions for the day, and if I couldn't untangle this knot that was my life, then I could at least cut a few strings.

Andrew and Drey both made it to the tree only seconds before Shawn. They stood in front of me as I sat in front of the tree, calmer than I had been in quite a while. I spoke before the confusion could sink any farther into their expressions.

"Today is the day that I set things straight. I am a cheater. I've cheated on all of you for the entire time that I've 'dated' you and I'm sorry. So you can think of this as our official solution to the problem that is me. I am now out of your hair. I'm no longer your problem, and I am no longer your babysitter. Now talk amongst yourselves, I have some painkillers with my name all over them."

I started to walk past them, but of course it wasn't that simple.

"Hold on,"- I turned around to look at Andrew. –"So you mean to tell us that you were with all of us at the same time?"

"Yep, that's exactly what I'm telling you."

"So it was only us three?" Drey asked.

"Technically, no, there were three others at the time. Thus, explaining the fight that I got into with Jack."

"He found out?" Andrew asked.

"I don't think you can really say that he found out. Christian kind of told him."

"Christian?"

"Long story."

"What is wrong with all of you?" Shawn jumped into the conversation, "This isn't a good thing. Why are you talking about it like it is? She had other guys. That doesn't bother you?"

Drey and Andrew looked at each other and then at me.

"It's really not that shocking. I think it's a little impressive." Andrew said, shrugging his shoulders.

"You can't say that you're all that surprised." Drey pointed out. For a second, I really thought that Shawn was going to pop a blood vessel.

"That's not the point."

I crossed my arms and looked at him curiously.

"Are you honestly saying that you've never cheated?"

"Is that so hard for you to believe?"

"Actually, to be honest, it is a little bit surprising. You've never kissed anybody while you were dating someone else?"

"I can't say that I wasn't tempted, but no I haven't and I didn't."

I really felt quite bad by that point. I had no idea.

"Okay, well hate me if you want, but this isn't the only stop that I had to make today. I'm sorry and now you have one less thing to worry about. So have a good life."

"I just have two questions before you go." Shawn asked, running his hand through his hair in an amazingly stressed manner. I sighed and crossed my arms. My headache was really starting to kick in.

"Ask away."

"Who was the guy that they mentioned on the news earlier?"

"What guy?"

"The guy who they said was your 'boyfriend'."

Apparently Shawn was the only one who had watched the news because the other guys were looking perfectly perplexed. Ha, I like the way that sounds. Anywho…

"His name is Michael Jacobson."

I sat back down on the grass and waited for the name to sink in. Football players are basically a team of brothers. They're a family. They know each other no matter how many seasons they've played together and they rarely ever forget a face. He turned his head to the side and stared down at me.

"You're not talking about the same Michael who graduated last year."

"Yeah, I am."

"The same Michael who was_ the_ biggest lineman on our team for the years that he was on varsity?"

I sighed. I had just spent the day with him yesterday. I didn't need a recap on how monstrously large Mike is. As you may have guessed, Mike's size made him famous on the football team. But that's what genetics and four years of football conditioning will do to a guy. He was on the freshman team when he first started high school, but was moved up not too long after that season started. Nobody ever counts the first year on varsity though because he was second string and didn't get to play, but enough about his history.

"Yes, the very same Mike," I muttered tiredly.

"He was at your house when your mom died?"

"Your mom died?!" Drey and Andrew both asked together. I sighed again.

"Yes my mom died and yes Mike was at my house. He came back to visit me yesterday."

"Is he still here?"

"Yeah he is. I'll send him over some time. You had another question?"

"Was there any point to us going out, or was that just fun and games for you?"

I stood up.

"You know what, my day has been hell. So, I'll get back to you on that. And don't worry, I'll remember. I will write a freaking note on the inside of my eyelids and make sure that I answer your question for you. "

I rubbed my temples as I walked down the hill and got into my car. It's safe to say that my life is sufficiently screwed. I started my car and headed back to my place. About the only thing that wasn't completely my fault was my mom's death and I could easily turn that on myself. If Mike and I would've stayed downstairs then we could've prevented it. But he did have a gun, so I guess that wouldn't have worked. I guess that's good that it wasn't our faults though. I honestly didn't need another thing to add to my depression and anger.

I stepped out of my car and sighed yet again. It was just one of those sighing days. At least the media and the cops were gone. I don't know why they had been here for that long. It's not like there was some huge mystery. He killed my mom and then he killed himself. Case closed. They always had to make something bigger than it was. I pulled my key out and opened the door. Everything was set up the way it had been when I left yesterday. The bodies and the gun were gone, but the blood stain was untouched. I gagged a little from the smell. I can't stay in here another day. I ran up the stairs to find Mike sitting on my bed flipping through channels with my remote.

"Hey. Do you usually stay out all night?" he asked me without looking away from the oh-so-gloriously blinking box.

"I have been lately."

"Were you out with a guy or by yourself drinking?"

"I was with a guy and I drank. Since when did you become my dad?"

I groaned at the thought of the word 'dad'. That word was cursed to me. I had one dad dead, a wannabe dad who killed my mother and committed suicide, and another wannabe dad who's in jail who, in my eyes, might as well be dead. Isn't that just lovely? I laid down beside Mike on my small twin sized bed.

"You know, drinking is a nasty habit." He said. I sniffed my shirt. Yep, I could smell the alcohol, the strawberry made it smell more like perfume though.

"Which is why I try not to make a habit of it."

"And what about the guy?"

"I talked him into it last night. He kept me from making a really big mistake."

"Do I already know what this mistake was?"

"I'm sure that you do. It's the very same mistake that we almost made twice."

"I only count the second time as a mistake because it didn't happen."

I hit him in his stomach again and struggled to not fall off. This bed was not made for two people especially not when one of the two is as big as a minivan. He only smiled.

"It's not that simple. What if I would've gotten pregnant?"

"I would've taken a year off, maybe more."

"What about your scholarships?"

"They're not the same thing as having a baby with the girl that I'm in love with."

"You wouldn't have been ready."

"There would've been nine months for me to get ready."

"You didn't have the money."

"I could've sold paintings like I am now."

"It wouldn't have been the same."

"It would've been close."

I always hated debating with him. He usually won.

"Seventeen is too young to have a baby," I stated. Sure, I'm eighteen now, but both incidents occurred a while before my eighteenth birthday but not too long after his if I'm remembering all of this correctly.

"I agree."

"Then why are we having this conversation?"

"Because you asked me questions and I answered them honestly."

He was so annoying when he was like this.

"Are you still a virgin?" I asked.

"Sadly no, but I was too drunk to remember it."

"Then how do you know that it actually happened?"

"The evidence was pretty clear. I can give you the details if you want."

"No, that's okay."

"What about you?"

"I'm still 'untouched' as Christian put it last night."

"You should be proud of that."

"I never said that I wasn't."

"You make it seem like you're not."

"I can't help that. Who was she?"

"I don't remember her name."

He said this so nonchalantly that I seriously just wanted to beat the crap out of him.

"You didn't even know her? Did you get checked?"

"Of course I did. I'm clean of every STD known to man."

"Was she your only one?"

"Yes and we only did it that time. Any more questions cop?"

I really thought about my last question.

"Do you still love me?"

I looked into his eyes for the first time that day and those big hazel circles were staring right back at me.

"That's the wrong question. Anyone could say yes to that."

"Are you still_ in_ love with me?"

He started clapping excitedly.

"Good job. Give the girl a prize!"

"Shut up and answer the question." I said, laughing at his sarcasm.

"You know that I do. Same question."

"You already know the answer."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!"

"I'm afraid that I forgot. I'm going to need you to tell me."

"No."

He stood up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Say it!" he said loudly. I started laughing even harder.

"Never!"

"Say it or I'll drop you."

"You wouldn't."

"You really think that I wouldn't?"

He spun me around a few times before slamming me onto my bed. I snorted as the bed creaked beneath me. He pinned my hands above my head.

"Say it gosh darn you!"

I smiled stubbornly.

"No and you can't make me."

"You know that I can."

"You wouldn't!"

My smile dropped from my face.

"Obviously I've been gone for too long because you honestly doubt me."

"Don't do it."

"No, you doubted me. I have to do it now."

"No!"

He slid his hands down from my wrists, to my arms, to my face, and finally to my waist. His smile grew wider.

"Please don't do it." I said, shaking my head. He ignored me. I whimpered and shut my eyes. He pinched my sides and I squealed. I was super sensitive when it came to my waist. Years of people poking me had made me this way.

"Stop!" I screamed.

"Not until you say it."

He poked me.

"No!"

He pinched me harder making me fidget hysterically. He was determined. I closed my eyes and struggled to catch my breath. He leaned in to my ear.

"There are always other ways."

He kissed my ear and then let his lips slide slowly across my neck to my other ear.

"Say it." He whispered.

"No."

He wasn't going to get to me that easily. I refuse! Sadly, he's just as stubborn as I am. He interlocked our fingers above my head and thus the teasing began. The first kiss was the heart stopper. It was Mike's special combination of force, emotion, and tongue. I had forgotten how much I missed it. Deny it as I might want to, our lips matched perfectly together. It was a simple fact. The rest were small butterfly kisses and he was definitely picking up from where we left off. His lips touched every part of my skin that could be seen, and relax you perverts out there, that (for the most part) only included my face, arms, and a teeny tiny part of my tummy. I played with his shirt as it hung off of his stomach twisting it between my fingers and holding onto it. Eventually, I was scared that my nails were going to rip through it as my grip tightened. He took this the wrong way and moved his hands down to my own shirt.

He grabbed the brim of it and started to pull up. I stopped him halfway.

"Let's go somewhere." I whispered against his lips, finally letting my eyes open.

"Not until you say it."

"Michael."

He laughed and stood up. He knew from experience not to mess with me when I used his full name.

"Where is it that you want to go?"

"Anywhere but here."

"Then let's go for a ride."

"I'd rather walk."

"Then let's go."


	7. Scrimmage

Chapter 7

I ran my hands through my hair as we stepped outside and started walking up the street.

"What's wrong?" Mike asked, looking down at me.

"You're joking right?"

"Sorry, standard question."

"Everything is going to change now. Do you get that?"

"More than you know."

"I have to plan my mother's funeral, call my family, figure out where I'm gonna live by next month, decide on what I'm gonna do about college, and you know you guys aren't making this any easier."

"What do you mean?"

"Brian, Christian, you, it doesn't exactly uncomplicate things."

"I get under your skin, don't I?" he asked with a smile.

"You know that you do.

"Yeah, I know. I just love hearing you say it."

"Shut up. Be serious, just for a little while."

"Fine, you want me to be serious? I want to meet this Christian."

Well that was a strange change of pace.

"Why?"

"For the time that I've been here, I've heard about him nonstop. You were even talking about him in your sleep."

Great! Now I talk in my sleep. They might as well be freaking mind readers. I seem to tell them everything anyway.

"So you're curious?"

"Haven't I always been?"

"I think nosey is the better word for it.

He nudged me and I caught myself on the edge of the sidewalk.

"Well with everything going, I really don't think that now is the best time. Maybe some other day."

"That makes sense. When are you going to start calling people?"

"I guess when we get back from our walk, but this is my distraction so let's not talk about that right now."

"Agreed."

"Now, if I did take you to meet Christian…what would I refer to you as?"

He scrunched his face up in serious thought. I couldn't help but to laugh.

"You can refer to me as the love of your life."

"That would be a tad bit awkward don't you think?"

"Is there any of this that _isn't_ awkward?"

"Touché. Oh and that reminds me, Shawn knows that you're here now."

He put his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. It was like being up against a giant teddy bear.

"Which Shawn?"

"The same Shawn who practically idolized you last year and knew all of your stats by heart."

I started to vibrate as a laugh exploded from his chest.

"I remember him. He was pretty good himself."

"He was good enough to take your place on the team."

His face went serious.

"That's not funny."

I flashed my most devilish smile at him.

"He took your spot, but he's not as good. Besides, he switches positions from time to time. Personally, I think he's better on offense, but that's just my opinion."

"And where does Shawn fit into all of this? He wasn't the one who you were out with all night, was he?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no he wasn't. I guess now he's one of the newest additions to my ex list."

His face blew up with excitement.

"You two dated?"

"Yeah, I guess you can say that we did."

"Care to explain?"

"No, I'd really rather not right about now," I ran my hands through my hair again, slower this time. Holy crap! How long has all this crap been going on? "Hey. What day is it?"

"Um, it's Saturday I think."

IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK! You've got to be kidding me. Didn't I just meet Christian last Friday? Well, my week had already been this strange; I might as well keep it going.

"I'm pretty sure that the guys are having a scrimmage today in about an hour."

"Then we should start walking back 'cause I'm not walking all the way to the school."

I smiled.

"Lazy."

We had just made it to the end of the street.

"I'm not lazy," he said, "I just don't feel like walking that far."

"Then let's at least walk to Bruster's. It's right up the street and I am in serious need of chocolate."

And that is exactly what we did. Sadly, he had to deal with my sugar high from having an amazing brownie Sunday, but I calmed down a bit once we went to the scrimmage. We pulled into the parking lot closest to the field. Mike stopped at the entrance.

"I can't believe it."

"What?" I asked.

"I think I actually missed this place. It doesn't compare to college stadiums though."

I crossed my arms and started walking through the main gate. He caught up with me in two easy steps.

"You know it's not the end of the world that you didn't go. We took pictures and we recorded it."

"It's not the same thing. I should've gone. It was a big day for you. I was just being too much of a brat to realize it."

Confused? As it has been mentioned, Mike was a really good football player. Well, I wasn't the only one who thought so. Scouts loved him. He had plenty of offers. But Ohio was his choice and Ohio was who he signed with. Simple to say, Ohio was so far away to the point that taking a plane would easily be the smarter option and I didn't want to be around anything that made his leaving a reality. So, being the spoiled little brat that I am, I didn't go to the biggest events in his high school life, next to his graduation. Of course, my mom practically forced me to go to that one.

"Relax. It's really not that serious."

He stepped behind me and put his arms around my neck and his head on top of mine as he wobbled to keep from stepping on my heels. I smiled and put my hands on his arms. This was one of my favorite things about him being so much taller than me. We started walking through the bleachers to the main senior section and that was when the fun started. You know, it's always interested me how these football games and scrimmages were separated when it came to the seating arrangements. No one argues about them, they're just known when you walk in. In this particular arena, if you want to call it that, there's the senior/junior section to the right, the parents/relatives section over to the left, the little kids area where they like to play their own mini game of football, and then there's the hill. This is the ultimate combination of various ages and is sectioned off within itself. Along the main part of the hill are generally the couples, the middle schoolers, and the underclassmen that are used to the area. Then there's the very top of the hill. This is mostly populated by upper classmen and various underclassmen.

I thought I'd just explain that to give you a better idea of the area. Anyway, Mike was getting plenty of stares by students who very easily believed that they were seeing things.

"Mikey?"

I didn't need to turn around to know that that was one of his old groupies. My guess would be a brunette, but I could be wrong. To be honest, I didn't really want to find out.

"I'm gonna go talk to coach, alright?" I said to him, turning my head. He kissed the edge of my mouth.

"Okay. I'll catch up in a sec."

I rolled my eyes and let him catch up with his younger friends and my current age group. I went under the bars that separate the crowd from the track and the field. It always seemed a bit awkward when I would cut through the track to get to the sidelines when the cheerleaders weren't here. Of course, it was awkward when they were here, so that's not really saying much. And no, I don't really have a problem with all of them. Heck, I used to be one, but I guess with everything going on and blowing up in my face, I quit after my sophomore year. I didn't need anymore responsibilities in my life than I already had and cheerleading was a full-time commitment.

Technically, I was breaking tons of rules by walking over to Coach, standing on a bench between two players, and covering his eyes with my hands, but I dare anyone to come and say anything to me about it.

"Guess who." I said. He jumped at my touch and then glanced back at me before turning back to watch his boys. I stepped down beside him.

"Hey Lay. Didn't you get suspended?"

"Yes I did, but it was all in self-defense. I was taught by the best you know."

"Yes I know and you better not make me regret it."

I put my hand over my frozen heart.

"Me? Never."

He smiled that old man smile of his. Sadly, he wasn't as young as he acted.

"Then I don't want to hear about you getting into anymore fights."

"Yes sir. You can ask anyone who was there; I didn't throw a single punch. How are we looking out here today?"

"Not too good. Lawrence is dropping everything that we throw at him and the defense isn't blocking worth crap."

I frowned.

"And how are you?" I asked.

"I'm fine."

"What about your blood pressure?"

"You know I don't like to talk about it." H e crossed his arms but refused to look at me. He's so stubborn.

"Maybe you should." I crossed my arms right along with him.

"Maybe I don't want to."

"That's not going to make it go down any quicker."

"Neither is this conversation."

"Well if I keep bugging you enough, maybe something will finally click in that hard head of yours. I don't think that Tammy can handle another scare like the last one."

Tammy is Coach's wife. She's exactly one week younger than him and she actually knows how to take care of herself. Sadly, she can't force him to be smarter when it comes to his health. I mean sure, he's a coach and all so he knows the basics, but his stress level is off the charts. I keep trying to talk him into taking a vacation, but his team comes first even in the off-season. I don't know how he's done it, but our team has been within the top five best football teams in the state every year for nearly twelve years now. He also turns fifty this fall, so hopefully this will be his last season and he'll finally get the rest that he needs.

"How do you feel about playing water girl for me like old times?"

I pouted.

"Only on two conditions."

It's not like he didn't know that this was coming. I'm not that easy to get rid of.

"Name it."

"One, you let me do the yelling for you today."

"I'll think about it. What's next?"

"You let me make a few tiny changes on the line."

"You know I trust you, but you know how this works. One shot, if one of your guys screws up, then he's hitting the bench."

"I know. I know. I think this will work though. Oh, but before I go, last time I checked there were two teams out there. I have the perfect partner."

Coach looked at me confused. I turned him around and pointed at the mob that had formed around Mike.

"Michael! Get your ass down here!" he yelled with a smile. Mike looked up at the sound of his name, hopped the bars, ran across the track, and tackled Coach in a major bear hug. For a second, I thought that he was going to break the poor man. I went down the line of upperclassmen until I found the one that I was looking for. I stopped in front of Drake. Remember him? Just for a recap, he's Brian's best friend and the guy that I had a bit of a tiny thing with. He was also at the basketball game when I confronted Christian and attempted to make him jealous. All caught up? Okay, and so the story goes on.

"Go!" Coach yelled at us. We grabbed the trays of water bottles and bolted over to the guys. Mike took the black team, I took the white team. (A.K.A light side and dark side, A.K.A offense and defense) Ah, the smell of grass and sweat. It's hard to believe that I actually missed it, but I did and it was relaxing to be around it again. Being around guys that were at least a foot taller than me used to make me claustrophobic, but after ten years of it, I enjoyed it. These were my guys. Cheers went up from both teams welcoming us. I felt loved and I'm sure that Mike did too.

"Hey boys, miss me?" I asked as I started throwing the bottles to the familiar faces while searching for two in particular.

"Jake, baby, I'm gonna need you to sit out for a second and take a breather. We're going to try a little experiment." – He nodded and started running to the sidelines. – "Okay, now Lawrence, I'm gonna need you to kick back and take over for Shawn. And Shawn, you better be ready to catch because Drake you're going to be throwing it to him. Now smile for me, y'all got this."

I smiled at them one last time, trying to see their faces through the helmets, before getting the bottles back and going back to Coach. Now, I would never do anything like this during a game, but the entire purpose behind scrimmages is for growth and how can you grow if you don't try new things? The whistle was blown and I didn't breathe until Craig (the current center) snapped the ball (to those who aren't all that interested in football, this means that the center is the guy who's bent over and passes the ball back to the quarterback who either runs with the ball or throws it.) to Drake. And there was that familiar sound of helmets and pads crashing together. This was our team. Our offense was amazing and our defense was deadly. These guys were feared and just looking from a distance, it was clear to see why. This is our Varsity team. They love what they do and they would do nearly anything to keep themselves out there on the grass. This spirit is what makes them different from the average jock.

Drake had doubled back and was looking for either Shawn or an opening. He didn't have time to wait. It wouldn't be long for the defense to break through the offensive line and they would come hard. Drake threw the ball full force down the field. Everyone, including the defense, had been too busy watching the offense to even notice that Shawn was already half way down the field. He looked back behind him and the ball practically put itself into his hands before he was wrestled to the ground. The crowd exploded. All I could do was smile.

"Good job yet again." Coach said to me once the noise had died down.

"I learned from the best."

I jumped as my phone vibrated in my pocket. Great! My nana was calling. I was really planning on calling her when I got home, but I should've known that she was going to be the first to know.

"I'll be right back." I said before walking over to the edge gate, the only remotely empty place in the area.

"Hey Nana."

"Layla, baby, is it true?!"

Oh! My poor nana, her heart can't take this kind of pressure. She was in full hysterics.

"Yes it is."

"Why didn't you call me? You shouldn't have to be there alone. I'm on my way out the door now. I'll be there in a few hours."

"I'm sorry Nana there's been a lot going on. I'll see you when you get here."

I closed my phone and did a bit of deep breathing. The story with my nana is that she is my last living, biological grandparent that I'm aware of, she got a divorce sometime before I was born and from what I've heard, she has had one heck of a love life since said divorce. And this amazing love life is thanks to her being an extreme traveler. She believes that she's old and that she deserves to see the world. In her off time, she lives in California which is on the complete opposite coast, so as you may guess, I was in no rush to get 'home'. Nana made the situation a bit easier though because now I had one less thing to worry about tonight and I didn't have to worry about planning the funeral either. I lived in a family full of planners. It was all just a matter of who got here first.

Hopefully they would go to a hotel though, because having Mike in my house was one thing, but having my mom's entire side of the family was something completely different. There was also the chance that a few of my relatives on my dad's side would show up. When my dad was alive, my mom was actually a reasonably liked person. My dad's family liked her, but they loved her when I was born. I think they actually ended up liking my nana even more than they did my mom by the time my dad passed. But that's just the kind of person she is. You can't help but to love her.

About an hour or more later, I was sitting with Coach on the sidewalk in the parking lot watching Mike talk to Shawn and a few of the other players a few feet away. I couldn't imagine what they were talking about, especially now that Mike knew that Shawn and I had dated while he was gone. Of course there was also the thing with Shawn knowing about my multiple boyfriends. That could be problematic too. While I'm on the word _'problematic'_ , it makes me think of some kind of evil machine. Can't you just picture it? It's some sinister machine that causes problems for people all over the world! Okay, anyway, away from my short attention span.

"So, you never told me how you've been. I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?"

Ha, man, that last question seriously just made me want to jump for joy at the somewhat irony of it all. Instead, I settled for simple sarcasm.

"Yeah, my step dad killed my mom and then shot himself in the head. You should come to the funeral. I have no idea when or where it's going to be, but you should definitely be there."

With the way that he looked at me, it was clear that he thought that I was telling him some cruel joke.

"That's not funny, Layla."

"I'm not laughing. I'm being perfectly serious right now. I can't believe you didn't see it on the news."

"Your mother is…_dead_ ?"

"She has been since yesterday I think."

Oh God. It's only been a day. Why is time moving so slow?! Now he was starting to believe me. I think about three more wrinkles just magically sprouted on his face. Oh! There's another one under his eye.

"How are you holding up? Where are you staying? Is there anyone with you? What happened?"

"I'd really rather not give you a full recap of the past few days, but you can relax. Mike was here the day that it happened so he's staying with me and I'm going to start looking for a job or two to keep me busy. And my Nana is coming as we speak."

He sighed.

"Now Layla, I know that you and Mike have a bit of a…history together. Do you really think…"- I cut him off.

"Coach, you can relax. I'm not looking to add to the family right now and there's too much going on to have time for anything like that."

This wasn't completely true, but my nana was going to be in the house, so there were no worries about that.

"I just want to make sure that you're okay. I know how Mike can be sometimes."

"We're fine. I should probably go so that I can make sure that everything is in order."

"Okay. Be safe. I just want to talk to Mike before you two go."

"Promise me that you won't kill him?"

He smiled.

"You know that I can't do that."

I gave him a tight hug before skipping over to Mike and the guys. I stood in the middle of them and turned to Shawn.

"Long time no see, huh?"

"So were you two dating or not?"

I hadn't realized that Drake had been a part of this group. Was this some kind of sign or something? I mean seriously!

"You're going to have to be more specific than that." I replied casually.

"I would assume that he's talking about you and me because Mike just spent the entire time interrogating me about it," Shawn said.

"Really now?" I asked turning to Mike. He smiled at me with fake nervousness. I raised my eyebrow and said, "Coach wants to talk to you."

The guys broke into a low roar of 'ooh's' as he walked away from us.

"You never answered my question." Drake noted once the noise died down. I crossed my arms.

"I don't really think that I'm the right one to answer that."

I turned to Shawn. Even in the dark, it was clear that he was frowning. The guys watched us perfectly confused.

"It's complicated."

"We should go."

I turned around to see Mike practically blocking out the moon. Aw, I was hoping to hear more from Shawn.

"Your grandma's coming?" he asked once we were in his car. I glanced at the clock on the radio. The green numbers flashed that it was ten twenty-seven.

"Yeah she is. What did Coach say?"

"That's confidential." He replied with a smile."

I sat back in the seat and leaned my head back. I'm not completely sure why, but I always seem to fall asleep when I ride in cars, especially when it's dark. When I woke up, I was alone in my bed. I sat up, running my fingers through my hair. I was still in my clothes. I reached into my pocket for my phone and checked the time. I had only been asleep for about two hours, but I had a missed a call from Nana. Oh no. I jumped out of bed and ran for the door. Okay, no one is screaming and the cops aren't here. Maybe she isn't here yet. I stumbled down the stairs struggling to keep from falling on my face. It's never a good idea to jump up like I did when you've just woken up. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and waited for my head to stop spinning. I ran to the living room but stopped when I passed the kitchen. I took a few steps back and there was my grandmother sitting on the counter and Mike with his head in the fridge.

She looked at me and rushed over, wrapping me in a tight grip that no sixty-two year old woman should have. I stood there praying that I wouldn't hear a snap. What was going on?

"Hey baby. You didn't tell me that there was a young man staying here with you. It was a bit of a shock at first, but once he told me his name it made sense. I'm just glad that we didn't wake you up."

I was staring at her. I looked around her as Mike closed the refrigerator. He had a band-aid under his left eye.

"What happened to you?" I asked walking past my grandmother and over to him to make sure that I wasn't just hallucinating. I poked it and he flinched. Nope, it was definitely there.

"Leena didn't really expect me to be the one to open the door."

Oh gosh. My Nana has him calling her by her first name. sigh She seriously has never acted her age. It wasn't much of a surprise that she did this to him. My guess was that if he weren't so big that she would've done worse. I can't blame her. I would freak out if I found a stranger in my deceased daughter's house too. I sat down on the counter and looked at them.

"I'm sorry Nana, how long have you been here?"

She hopped up on the counter right beside me.

"I haven't been here for too long. Mike here was keeping me distracted. It was nice finally getting to meet the infamous Michael."

She smiled, but there was no doubt in my mind that she had been crying recently. This had to be rough for her. She had probably expected to die before my mom did, but that's obviously not how it happened. I leaned my head against the cabinet. Now would be a really good time for a drink, but I'd rather go without it than have Nana attack me for being anywhere near a bottle.

"When's the rest of the family coming?" I asked, closing my eyes. I knew that my aunt and uncle were both only about twenty minutes away, but the rest of my family was a bit scattered. Nana took a deep breath.

"Well, the wake is going to be tomorrow, so they should be here by then. And the…funeral is going to be on Tuesday. Annette is taking care of it."

Annette is my aunt, also known as my mom's older sister.

"Okay." I said simply. What else is there to say when discussing your mother's funeral? It's not exactly a fun topic.

"Now that that's settled, would you two like to explain this particular living arrangement to me and why it is that you, sir are not in college right now?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Classic Nana. Mike and I looked at each other. It was a tad bit complicated and back before Mike had left for college, Nana and I had talked about him, but only to a certain point. I think that she has a pretty good idea of how I felt about him, which makes this even more awkward. Mike started chugging water from the water bottle that he had in his hand, leaving me to explain. I'd have to kill him for that later.

"Mike came to visit me and mom the day that…it happened, and she invited him to stay here."

"Okay, that's fine, but why aren't you in college?"

No fair. She gave him the easy question. He took the water bottle out of his mouth and put the cap on it.

"I got a job selling my artwork."

She looked interested.

"Layla, you never told me he was an artist. What kind of work do you do?"

He leaned against the sink, setting down the water bottle.

"I do pretty much every kind of painting, regular drawing, computer design, and photography from time to time."

"Interesting! Do you have anything in any galleries?"

He smiled.

"Actually, I have a painting in a gallery in Florida a few hours away from here. They want me to make another one similar to it but better before premiering them both."


	8. One of the Many

**Chapter 8**

I looked over at him. He never told me about this. I had no idea that he was going to be showing his work so exclusively.

"When do you need to leave?" I asked quietly. He looked over at me and frowned.

"I can work with them on the date, but no later than next month."

"So you're gonna be leaving soon?" I asked, trying to hide the tension that was caught in my throat.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" he looked at me and then at Nana.

"Sure, we can put it off for as long as you want. I'm going back to bed," I kissed Nana on the cheek, "Good night."

He put his arm around my stomach as I tried to walk past him. Stupid steroid-popping walking building! Okay, he never took steroids, but anyone who didn't know him wouldn't know that.

"Don't touch me." I muttered, stepping back and away from his arm.

"I'm sorry that I didn't bring this up earlier."

"I don't want to talk. I'm going to bed."

In one quick movement, I pushed myself up against him and slipped between the tiny amount of space that he left between his body and the door frame. I don't know where he slept last night and I don't know where he was planning on sleeping tonight, but he without a doubt wasn't getting in here. Nana practically had her own room in this house so she's more than set. So what better way to take out my anger than to throw myself onto my bed and lock my door like the not-so-good little young adult that I am?

Okay, so he was going to be leaving, this I already knew. What I didn't know was that he was going to be leaving as soon as next month. This was quite the shocker. It was lucky for him that Nana was there or one of us just might have ended up in the hospital and I think we all know which one I'm talking about.

I rolled onto my back and threw my hands under my head. Aw crap, I have a wake to go to in a couple of hours. They might as well change the name of it from 'wake' to 'pity party'. To be honest, I'm just not up for it but I guess I can't exactly skip this one. What do you do at a wake anyway? What do you _wear_ to a wake? Oh gosh. This is going to be terrible.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. She was a wonderful woman."

Who the heck are you?! I swear to bob, if one more person comes up to me telling me how sorry they are for me and I don't even know their name, I'm gonna have to scream. I was sitting in the back corner on a stool while my mother's body sat in a casket in the front of the room. She was facing up in true casket fashion, so it was impossible to tell that her neck had been broken. There were daffodils and tulips in vases all over the room. They were my mom's favorite. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall. Oh and I guess I didn't mention my outfit. I had spent so long trying to find an outfit for this thing so that I wouldn't stand out that I ended up running late and had to throw on a pair of slightly tight jeans and my black shirt that had rather lovely illustrations of a skull, black roses, and a heart with wings and a halo over it. Quite an interesting choice, no?

Well, it was my only option at the time. And to top off this lovely morning, it had all started with me ignoring Mike and getting text messages from various friends, including my guys, who wanted to know about when and where the funeral would be. At some point, I just started mass forwarding the message with the information so that my phone would stop vibrating. I twirled my water bottle around in my hand and watched the water swirl. GAH! It was going to be such hell when all of this sunk in. I could feel it. Next to Mike who had left earlier after being here for nearly three hours, I was the only person in the room who hadn't cried a single tear that day. As the daughter of the victim, I get to be here for another two hours, which will make a grand total of ten hours I think. I stopped watching the time when I realized that it was driving me insane.

Seeing how irritated and exhausted I was, Nana decided that it would be okay if I went home. I walked out of the overly air conditioned building to see Mike standing in the driveway by my car.

"Are you still ignoring me?" he asked, crossing his arms. I have the strange feeling that I was set up.

"Should I be?" I asked while walking over to my car door. He blocked my way.

"No."

"Then I'm not."

"It's never that simple with you."

No, it really isn't.

"You know me so well."

"I always have."

"Why won't you let me get into my car? I want to go home. EW, I don't like the way that that sounds. It doesn't fit for that place."

"I just need a little bit of your time. Is that too much?"

He crossed his arms and looked down at me with those eyes. I couldn't get mad at those eyes when they were all sad and serious like that. I sighed and leaned against the hood of my car.

"No, it's not. What did you need to tell me?"

"I had reasons for not telling you about the gallery in Florida."

"And what would that be?"

"I can't tell you. It's still a surprise."

I'm not sure what it was. It could have been the fact that the only thing that I'd had to eat or drink that day was half a bowl of cookie crisp, or that I'd only gotten about two hours of sleep last night, or that I'd nearly died of boredom. Regardless, one second I was standing and the next…the ground was getting amazingly close to my face. I was waiting for the collision and it was really taking it's time. Later I finally realized that Mike had caught me right above the gravel. I felt his hands slip into my pockets followed by the jingling of my keys. He unlocked my doors and sat me in the passenger's seat. This is the second time that I've woken up in my house and not been able to remember how I got here.

But at least I wasn't drunk and close to getting laid like I had last week. sigh that reminds me, I haven't talked to Christian in quite a while. But my schedule would be free once this whole funeral thing was cleared up. Ok maybe not clear. I doubt that it would be all that worse. My family wouldn't be here as often, but I would miss Nana. It was fun having her here to a certain extent. And Mike would be leaving.

That wasn't exactly something to look forward to. Speak of the devil, I turned over and there sat Mike in the recliner. That was when I realized that I was in my living room rather than in my bedroom.

"You should eat something. It's getting pretty late."

I sat up to see Nana sitting by my feet on the edge of the couch. She smiled that great grandmotherly smile of hers. I couldn't help but to smile back. I stood up slowly. Mike was watching me as if he thought that he would have to catch me again.

"We ordered some Chinese. It's in the microwave."

"Thanks." I said, kissing him on the cheek. He seemed surprised. But my mother's funeral was going to be in a few hours and I was going to enjoy the little bit of time that I had before the depression kicked in. I didn't even know what kind of depression it was going to be or when it was going to kick in, but it was going to be colossal. That I could feel. I walked into the kitchen and pulled the box out of the microwave. Aw, that was so sweet and convenient. All of my favorites were in one take- out box making the ultimate combination. I grabbed a pair of chopsticks, a paper towel, and a bottle of water and went back into the living room. I plopped down on the couch to see Nana watching me.

"What?" I asked with a mouth full of sesame chicken. I was starving!

"I'm worried about you Layla. You act like nothing's happened."

"I'm waiting for it to kick in. it's not like I didn't cry when it happened. You can ask Mike. I cried all day."

"It's not that I want you to cry, it's just…you don't seem like you care."

I took a sip of water.

"I care. I'm just getting over a few things."

"She was your mother."

"And she was your daughter, that doesn't change what she did. If you would've heard about some other woman who let her son be killed by his stepfather, then you would be angry too. It's not exactly something that's easily forgiven."- I put a piece of broccoli into my mouth. –"That man was a monster and she let him stay here."

I said this with a shrug.

"She was afraid of what he was going to do the three of you."

"And her fear didn't help anything. I still got beat on and Chris ended up getting killed. She shouldn't have dated the bastard in the first place."

"Watch your mouth." She said quickly.

"I'm sorry. But you know if she never would have dated that first guy, then Chris would still be alive and maybe she would be too. Her dating hasn't helped a single thing."

She let out a really deep breath. Yeah, she knew that I was right. It was a sad truth, but it was true nonetheless. Wanna know just how heartless I am? I did all this without coming anywhere near shedding a tear and without a single change in my tone. I just sat, ate, and drank.

"You should probably start getting ready."

I looked up from my spot on my bed a few hours later to see Mike standing over me. He actually looked pretty damn good in a tux. I sat up and balanced myself on my knees.

"Your tie's a little crooked," I said, starting to fix it, "You know, I know I haven't said this since you've been here, but…thanks. You're the only one who's put up with me during my whole 'mom' thing and I really appreciate it."

I straightened his jacket. He looked really good. His black hair was cut short and I could smell the aftershave mixed in with his body spray. He never used too much like most guys do. He just did a few little sprits. He had a new band-aid under his eye.

"You don't have to thank me for that. It's practically my job," He said with a smile and giving me a quick peck on the lips, "Now go get ready before your grandma loses it."

"Fine."

I pushed him out of my room and went to my closet. There was no way that I was going to go out and buy a dress, so I decided to wear my Homecoming dress. It was in the very back. I took it out, laid it out on my bed and ran to the bathroom. I still had enough time to wash my hair and style it. In the shower, I shaved my legs and under my arms. I used Dove soap and my special shampoo. The scents of both were meant to smell good and relax you and they did just that every time. I brushed my teeth and washed my face carefully before taking the time to curl my hair with my straightener. I flipped the ends out and took extra time on my bang. I was feeling a bit edgy today so I cut it. Now it rested right above my right eye flowing with the rest of my hair. I thought it looked pretty good for something that I did last minute. Next, I did my mascara and eyeliner. It was a funeral, so I did them both a tad bit darker than I would on any other day. It made the green in my eyes stand out more than usual.

I stepped out of the bathroom in my black strapless bra and my matching black underwear. Any other time, I wouldn't do this, but I wasn't about to take my dress into the bathroom with me, so I left it on my bed. And there sat Mike on my window sill.

"Do you have anywhere else that you can possibly be right now?" I asked. He turned and stared.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth." I said with a smile.

"Have you been working out?"

"You know I have. I used to go to the gym with coach, but I've been…busy."

"With your many boyfriends, you mean."

"Yeah, them. I'm trying to put that behind me."

"You know I kinda feel like I had a small part in that." he replied.

"How do you figure?"

"When I left you went to Brian. When I was still here, you certainly didn't have five guys following you around."

"No I didn't."

He looked me up and down and then crossed his arms.

"You know your grandmother just left and we have a couple of minutes." He said, standing up.

"That's not funny. I have to get dressed."

"No you don't."

"You are such a pervert."

"You make me want to be a pervert."

"Should I be concerned that you just implied that you want to screw me on the day of my mom's funeral?"

"No."

"And why shouldn't I be?" I asked with raised, and very sarcastic, eyebrows.

"Because, my dear Lala, I would never screw you."

Okay, what?

"But you just said-"

"Screwing is for horny people who aren't in love. That's not the case here."

"You are so stupid."

"I'm fine with that as long as my stupidity still makes you laugh. And look at that…it does."

I couldn't lie. It does. It always has and probably always will to a certain extent. I picked up my dress and stepped into it. I pulled it up slowly as Mike whistled. I threw a pillow at him and he caught it. Stupid reflexes.

"If you refuse to leave then can you at least help me with this?" I asked, walking over to him. He didn't hesitate before putting his hands on my hips as I threw my hair over my shoulder. He pulled the zipper up carefully, making sure not to break it off in his massive hands. I looked at my mirror on top of my dresser across the room. I loved this dress so much. It looked better now than it did months ago at Homecoming.

The dress was black and slimming with a few ruffles along my waist line and sleeveless along the top, hence the strapless bra. There was a slit in the dress that cut from the middle of my left thigh down and over to my left shin. Along the slit was white fluff that filled in the majority of the open space. It hugged every one of my curves in the best way as if it was made specifically for me and I think that that was my favorite thing about it. There was just something unusual about the way that it looked today that wasn't there the first and last time that I had worn it. But I guess I look different too. My look was a bit more intense this time. It seemed…dangerous almost.

I threw my hair back over my shoulder and let the curls drop. Mike put his arms around my neck the way he had at the scrimmage. I smiled.

"You know, someday they need to invent a word that's better than beautiful 'cause I'm having a really hard time describing you right now," he whispered in my ear before kissing the base of my neck, "You ready?"

"I just need to get one more thing and then we can go."

I stepped out of his arms and walked forward to the dresser. On it sat my Tweety jewelry box. It had been a while since I had opened this particular box. I wore earrings every day to keep my holes open and maybe a necklace every once in a while, but I usually left those on the dresser. My special jewelry went into the Tweety box. The first necklace that caught my attention was simple and made of silver. The charm on it was so tiny that most people had to squint their eyes or move in really close to me to be able to see it. This tiny charm was a little figurine of my feet when I was a baby. Obviously, it wasn't meant to be life like, it was just the shape. Within the little feet were tiny diamonds that seemed to change color when you put them directly in the light. I swerved the necklace around front so that I could see the clasp and made sure that I heard it click before turning it back around to the front and flipping my hair over it.

I looked around in the box until I found my diamond studs. I still have no idea if they're real diamonds or not, but I really don't care, they're cute. I played with the necklace carefully and stared at it in the mirror. Somehow, I had managed to keep it in perfect condition after all of these years. Of course, my mom kept it when I was younger. It was her idea to buy it for me when I was born. She had done the same thing for Chris but he had never been as excited about it as I had. I grabbed my black strap heels and led Mike out the door.

"Hey. Take your car. I might stay a bit late."

"Alright. We'll meet back here?"

"Yeah...eventually. I'll let you know when I'm on my way."

Aw crap. I had left my purse in my room. I ran back in once Mike had pulled out of the driveway and sprinted up the stairs and back in my room to grab my bag and do it all in reverse. I drove to the graveyard with my window down and my music blasting. I had to clear my head somehow and I dare anyone to tell me otherwise. I parked beside the sidewalk at the cemetery. There weren't very many cars simply because I was early. I was here to at least be there for people to notice when they came in to see my mother. And one of the worst things about this setting was that it was perfect weather. There wasn't any rain and it wasn't dark like it usually is in movies. It was perfectly sunny with just a few clouds to keep the sun from being unbearable. There was even a comfortable breeze going. I crossed my arms and walked across the grass surprised to see a familiar combination of snake bites, jet black hair, and beautiful blue eyes. I ran over and nearly tackled him, while tripping only twice in the process.

Christian wrapped his arms around my waist and stared the same way that Mike had earlier. Did I really look that different today? Jeez.

"Whoa, you look…wow."

"Are you stalking me now?" I asked. I couldn't believe that I was this happy to see him. I wanted to scream. But you know, screaming probably isn't one of the best things to do in a cemetery. But honestly, if you can't scream in a cemetery, then where can you scream?

"Well, you make it easy when you send you entire schedule for the day. How are you doing?"

"I'm actually doing okay. I don't think you have any idea of how happy I am to see you."

"I think I have a pretty good idea."

"You know, black really is your color."

"Yeah, I've heard that before."

"Well you're going to be proud of me. You remember that day when I woke up drunk and you told me that story and I ran out of your house?" I asked.

"It sounds familiar."

I smiled at his sarcasm.

"Do you want to know why I left?"

"The suspense is killing me."

"I went to go break up with my guys."

"You broke up with all of them?"

"Not all, just most."

"Really, because I think a few of them are here today."

"What?"

"There were a few guys who looked about as lost as I did when I got here. My guess would be that they were looking for you."

"Well, that's just peachy. But I don't think that they expect anything from me. We had a very…enlightening conversation."

"So where does that leave me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. His hands were still around my waist and my arms were still around his neck.

"What do you mean?"

I had a pretty good idea of what he meant.

"You never told me if I was officially one of the many."

"There isn't a 'many' anymore. There's only three and that may change very soon."

"Really now? Are you thinking about dropping me?"

I tapped the right stud with my fingernail and then ran the very same nail along the edge of his bottom lip. I leaned in.

"I'll get back to you on that." I whispered against his lips. Unlocking his fingers from my waist, I smiled devilishly and walked off to find my nana. Instead, I found Shawn, Coach, and Tammy. Tammy hugged me instantly.

"How are you doing?" Wow, five seconds in here and I already get asked the magic question. That must be some kind of record. I glanced over at Shawn who was staring. I think that's another record! I'm just racking up all kinds of points today.

"I'm fine, but would it be okay with the two of you if I talk to Shawn for a second?"

They looked each other and smiled at me before walking off. Yeah, the smiles really weren't all that convincing. They were stressing on the inside, but that's what I do to people. Shawn was still watching me. It was clear that he was uncomfortable with me in more ways than one. That kinda hurt my feelings.


	9. Delusional

**Chapter 9**

"Do you remember what you asked me that day on the hill when I told you about everything?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, I have my answer. Ready?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Obviously."

"Okay. It was because of our relationship that I didn't end it. You meant a lot to me which is why I cheated on Brian with you. I know that doesn't mean a lot considering the circumstances, but I don't fall for just anyone like that. I dated all of you because you were all different and because you were all important enough to me that I couldn't just let you go. Now, I'm not trying to say that what I did was right in anyway, but I thought that you deserved a proper explanation."

"Thank you for that."

"So we're cool?"

"Well, I've got to say, with the way that you look in that dress, I'm amazingly jealous of whatever guy you do pick. But...I'm gonna need some time for this one."

I smiled and hugged him. Why did all of these guys have to look so good in tuxedos? It was driving me crazy! He kissed my forehead before I continued my search for Nana. Good lord, how was it possible that this woman was so hard to find? The area was starting to fill up as more of my family appeared. I was blinded by a pair of hands. I pulled them down and turned around to see Brian. Oh no.

"Hey." I said a tad bit too casually. He wrapped me up in a hug. Okay this was too much hugging for one day. These people just didn't understand the concept of personal space.

"How have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while."

"I'm doing okay. Mike and my nana have been staying with me."

"Mike is back?" he asked sounding rather shocked. I'm pretty sure that he was officially the last one to know.

"Yeah, he was here the day that my mom was killed. He came to see me and my mom had invited him to stay."

I said this like a bedtime story that had been told too many times and that's exactly what it felt like.

"You still love him."

"Excuse me, what?"

"You were brokenhearted when he left and your eyes light up when you say his name. You love him."

Seriously, was there anything that this guy didn't know? I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see none other than Nana. Oh so of course she can find me when I'm not looking for her.

"They're about to start."

She glanced at Brian. I didn't have time for introductions.

"Okay, I'll be there in a sec."

I turned back to Brian as she left.

"We'll talk later," he whispered. He pressed his lips to mine and let them linger long enough to take my breath away. GOSH DARN HIM! I started walking in the direction that Nana had left in and there stood Christian looking around for a seat.

"Are you sure it's not you who's stalking me?" he asked as I hooked my arm with his and led him to the aisle that I saw Nana in. Sitting beside her was Mike. Well, I'd have to do this eventually, why not now? I lowered myself down in the chair beside him and Christian sat beside me. I elbowed Mike. He's a big boy. It's not like it hurt him or anything. He probably barely felt it, but it was enough to get his attention.

"Mike, this is Christian. Christian, this is Mike."

They surveyed each other and then nodded. This was going to be interesting. The small conversations stopped as the funeral started. I zoned out as my family members went up to talk about my mom. I tapped my fingers. We all knew that I was going to have to speak. I knew this from the start and I hadn't planned anything on purpose. These speeches are supposed to come from the heart, right? So why would I plan ahead? I kept right on tapping and I was actually starting to get a pretty good beat working when Christian slipped his hand under mine and interlocked our fingers. Darn it. I had it too.

We kept looking straight ahead. Mike seemed oblivious to the entire thing and I prefer that it stays that way.

"She was an amazing woman…."

"She was a fantastic mother…"

"…we're going to miss her."

*Sigh* I wonder how many of these people really knew my mother. My family members seemed to pick their words more carefully than the people who were here as her friends. They knew her history and it was hard to remember her better times. Nana sniffled beside me. I glanced over past Mike's ginormous chest and sure enough, she was wiping at her eyes trying to hide her tears. She had already spoken and it was time for yours truly to go up.

I was introduced by Janine, a friend of the family, and Christian gripped my hand before letting it go. I stood up and walked to the end of our row and up the aisle. Okay, this was very awkward. For the first time in quite a while, I actually felt goose bumps pop up on my arms. I stood behind the podium and looked out at the crowd in front of me.

There were familiar faces and complete strangers of course. I picked out my guys in seconds, my mind going at a hundred miles per hour.

"You know," I started calmly, "when I was younger, my mom always made sure that I knew that lying wasn't tolerated in the house. The word was a 'bad word' in itself. As you can see, I'm not so young anymore, but I still try to be as honest as possible, and I don't plan on changing that today."

Nana shifted in her seat along with Mike, Brian and a few relatives. They were just going to have to be uncomfortable because this needed to be said. I kept right on going.

"When my dad was alive…my mom was the perfect mother in every way. She was sweet, she looked out for me and my brother and I looked up to her. Nothing mattered more to her than Chris and I, but after my dad passed…she changed. My dad was an amazing man and she had an impossible time trying to find a guy like him, but she couldn't raise two kids on her own and she was lonely. If you need to know the story of my brother, then you know and if you don't then it's none of your concern….But…simple to say, my mom didn't make the best decisions once she lost my dad and I couldn't find it in me to let it go. I still don't. I'll admit, to this day, I'm still mad at her. At the same time though…I know that I have to forgive her because she wasn't the one who physically committed the crime that ended my brother's life."

There were a few confused glances around the area by the strangers.

"I know it's a bit late to do this, but I think that she is up there somewhere"- or down there, -"and she should know that I'm trying to put it all behind me. She's with Chris and my dad now, so maybe I can at least make them remotely proud before I join them someday. Thank you."

I choked a bit on my last few words as reality started to kick in. They're all gone. And who would think that _I_ would be the last one out of my immediate family on this earth? I stepped down and walked over to my mom's closed casket. I placed my pointer and middle finger against my lips in a kiss and whispered goodbye to her for the last time before raising them to the sky.

"You forgot this."

I turned to see Nana handing me a single red rose. I smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you."

I placed the rose on the casket and walked back down the aisles so that others could do the same after me. There still weren't any tears, but I was definitely feeling the sting in the back of my throat. Considering that there were a reasonable number of students and PTA members from the school, I was pretty sure that I had been excused from school this week. With the way that everything was going, I had almost forgotten that I would have to go back at some point. I just had to make it through these last few months and then I would be free until August.

I sat in the chair in the farthest corner of the farthest row and crossed my arms and legs. I was getting more and more glances. I think all of these people expected me to break down or something. Wow, you know, it just hit me that I am a technical orphan now. That's a pretty strange thing to realize no matter when or where you realize it. How long would it be until people would come and try to soothe the poor orphan child? It may have been my outrageously dark eyes or some face that I was making, but regardless people were catching the 'stay away from me' vibe that I was sending. They would place their flower, glance at me, and then walk away. Hopefully this pattern would last. Call me crazy, but I wasn't exactly feeling social.

Once the flow of flowers had ended, it was time to lower my mom into the ground. I stood between Nana and Mike as we watched my mom sink farther and farther away from us. Seriously though, would it be too much to ask for a bit of rain? The sun was really starting to depress me. The area was starting to clear. I promised Christian, Brian, and Mike that I would talk to all of them later. I did all of this separately by the way. I sat with Nana in the last two chairs as the grave diggers filled in the hole. It started to get slightly darker as the clouds skipped in front of the big yellow circle that is the sun. Maybe there was still hope.

An hour passed and Nana was starting to get restless. I put her out of her misery.

"I'll meet you at the house. I know you don't want to see this."

She kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, baby. I don't want you staying here too late."

"I won't."

I was the only one there. Okay, I was the only _living_ one there. I walked to my car and came back with three bouquets of flowers. I put the bunch of roses on Chris's grave, the tiger lilies on my dad's, and the yellow daffodils on my mom's. I stepped back and stared at my family. For the first time, I looked at my mother's headstone and was thankful for something that I hadn't even realized that I should be stressing about: her last name. Her maiden name was the one on the stone, not that bastard's, not the asshole before him, and not my dad's but her own. My cold heart started to burn and a stinging tear slipped out. I smiled and read the message under name: 'She was many things, but mainly unforgettable'.

That was definitely Nana's doing. Who better to do the message on my mother's headstone than _her_ mother?It had been quite a while since I had visited them, but I memorized their headstones and everything about the surrounding area. Chris's read: 'He will always be our world'. That had been courtesy of a younger me. He was my world. It was as simple as that. I looked at my dad's and stared without really staring. 'Our Superman'. This one was courtesy of Chris and I. Our dad never seemed too tired or busy for us even when he got sick. I looked at my family. They were all in the ground below me and in the clouds above me. For the first time, I felt alone. And on came the waterworks as I wrapped my arms around me to hold myself together.

Okay, so let's see. Freakishly fast and painful heart beat, check. Chills up and down my spine, check. Short breaths and heartbreakingly sore throat, check. Realizing that I was right when I thought that I was gonna go through hell when it all sank in, priceless. I dropped to my knees and gasped at the pain that shot through them. I was full out hyperventilating as I thrust my hands into my hair. I looked down as nothing but black dripped from my face. The word 'alone' just kept screaming itself in my head and made me even more hysterical. I stared at the tombstones. Wait, when did everything start spinning? I couldn't find it in me to hold myself up anymore, so I fell onto my side with what sounded like a huge crash in my head.

I was in the fetal position, my knees clasped to my chest with my shivering arms. My grip loosened more and more as my knees, along with everything else around me, started to slip away. Something cold and wet plopped on my cheek. I struggled to turn my head towards the clouds. They were darker now. Another drop fell, following the first and another after that one and another one after that. I smiled. The sun was almost completely hidden now.

That rain came after all. Thanks.

This was the last thing that I saw before everything went black and surprisingly warm.

So…is there supposed to be some kind of light now? Am I supposed to see pearly gates? Oh gosh! What if I'm going the other way? There's definitely a lot of bouncing. It's kind of wet too. I cracked my eye open and moaned from the pain of it to see a tuxedo and huge arms around me. Mike. He looked down at me with glassy eyes and held me closer to him. God he was so warm! I watched his lips move. I tried to focus so that I could actually listen and comprehend.

"Everything's okay. We're g"- Oh, headache! Blackout…again, oh joy. This blackout had to have been longer than the last one. Where the hell was I anyway? Ew, beeping. I hate beeping. Okay, I usually hate beeping. Hmm, now where would I be where there would be beeping?

"I think she's waking up."

Who was that? Something stuck me in my arm. I sat up and my eyes flew open.

"OW, Son of a b-"

Woo, I avoided a serious bullet there. Nana was standing in front of me and looking at me as if she was waiting for me to finish the phrase. I looked around the room. Oh great, I was in a hospital and now there was blood pouring from my arm. Well, that's certainly not a good thing it kinda stings a bit too. The doctor was staring at me in shock. I guess she didn't expect for me to jump up like that. I sighed.

"She's losing a lot of blood."

"Why am I losing a lot of blood?" I asked. Ha, pretty lights. They wiped my arm and put a squishy thing on it. Ok, ouch! My arm was really starting to burn. I looked at and the red line that was on it.

"Relax Lala. Everything's fine. You just scared the doc while she was trying to put an IV in you."

Mike was standing beside me away from my blood waterfall. He really looked worried. This could be a problem. Mike never looked worried. That's kinda funny.

"Oh, is that all?" I asked slightly sarcastically. That would explain the bloody line. She must've sent the needle up my arm. I might just have to sue after this one. Another doctor came in and flashed a light in my eyes. It was like they were trying to send me on a rampage. I certainly would've if the ground would stop swirling around so gosh darn much.

"We hit a vein! It won't stop!"

I swear, if I die from this, I'm gonna be so pissed. That would be quite funny irony though if you think about it. Ha, I died on the day of my mom's funeral. That's hilarious. Of course, I couldn't exactly laugh about it at the moment. Crap! Why was I even here? I would've been fine if they wouldn't have sliced my damn vein. I didn't need an IV anyway. All I did was pass out. It's not like I haven't done it before. Heck, I've been doing it all week.

"Her pupils are dilated." The other doctor said nervously. I turned back over to Mike. Was he crying?

"Whatsamatter?" I mumbled. Oooo, Mumble! Happy feet! I love Mumble. He was so cute.

"H-happy feet." I whispered. I confused him. Ha!

"What?" he asked.

"She's delirious. She's losing way too much blood!"

To hell I am! I'm far from delirious. You just don't know how my mind works, doc.

Nana sat down on the end of my bed. The blanket was really red. Did I do that? Ha, Family Matters. Steve Urkel. She was crying too. She was crying a lot harder than Mike was though. What was with all the tears? My eyes started to flicker.

"We're losing her!"

Those doctors were really depressing me. Mike put his forehead to mine. Had I really been laying down this whole time? This pillow was pretty soft. Hm, interesting.

"I love you, alright? I don't want you to ever forget that. You're going to be fine."

It was starting to dawn on me. They thought that I was dying. I _am_ dying. Surely they have some kind of procedure for slitting patient's veins. Was I crying? I couldn't tell anymore. Mike still had his forehead to mine. Everything was all fadey again. And yes, I know that that's not a word, but I'm dying and I'm making it one. Someday you'll see it in the dictionary.

Stay awake! Stay awake! I was really starting to think that if I passed out this time that I wouldn't wake up like I did all the other times. My name was being screamed through the room. It was so loud! It was so loud in fact that it could only have been Nana. My eyes were still flickering like I had some kind of nervous twitch or something. She kept screaming my name.

"Will one of you please take her outside?"

Mike didn't look away from me, but the door opened and closed and the screaming got a lot quieter and all muffled-like.

"Come on Lala. I still have to show you your surprise, remember?"

"She's still fighting." One of the doctors noted. Hell yeah I'm still fighting. I'm not ready to join my family just yet. I have a few more things that I still want to do before then and I don't plan on ending those options due to a freak out in a hospital.

"Her heart rate is picking up. She's stabili-"

And then there was darkness yet again. I took in a sharp breath. Why is it so dark again?! How many times can one person die in a lifetime? Last time I checked it was only once. Oh wait, ha, my eyes were still closed. I forced them open a tad bit too quickly and groaned at the bright lights and white walls of my hospital room. And what a site that room was. I couldn't have been out for too long because they still hadn't cleaned up. I hadn't seen the color red this much since last Valentine's Day. Oddly enough, this was more pleasant. I looked at my arm. It was clean and wrapped from my wrist to just below the top of my shoulder. I looked over and Mike was asleep and leaning on the rail of my bed. Nana was sleeping in a chair in the corner of the room to the left of me. I looked at the closed blinds on the window. It was hard to tell, but I was guessing that it was dark. It was still raining. I love that sound of the little drops on the roof and various parts of the building. If they haven't put the sound of rain on one of those relaxation CD's that share aisles with potpourris and other relaxing things, then they should. I would seriously buy it. It could put me to sleep every night when it wasn't actually raining.

I was definitely in a pretty good mood. But would you expect anything less from a person who nearly died about three times in one day and still managed to live? I kinda wish that I would've had one of those hallucinations when you see the people that you've lost. That would've been nice. But I guess since I was technically with them when all of this happened, that feature was taken out of the package. Glancing at my right arm, I giggled. The giggling was probably due to an unknown amount of meds pumping in my blood stream. Anyway, it had caught my attention that I now had an IV in my right arm since the one that was meant for my left arm had nearly ended my life. Strange how these things happen, don't you think? I know I do! I twirled the microscopic tips of Mike's hair between my fingers slowly. He had been the last one that I had seen before my most previous blackout and that really calmed me. I struggled to sit up without making any noise. Surprisingly enough, I was feeling pretty good. I mean, I had only lost a bit of blood. It could have been worse.


End file.
